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What would you think?

Things have been really bad between my husband and I. So bad that I have told him that I want a divorce. I have really thought this through and I wasn't something that I said in the heat of an argument. (I said this to him on Saturday) He hasn't spoken to me (except about our son) since then, and all of a sudden today he told me that I have an appointment tomorrow with a marriage councilor...I am dumbfounded. I don't know if I should be angry because I don't even know if I want to try anymore, or happy that he actually wants to try and save this?? What would you think??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Do you want to go and give it a try? Maybe by him making the appointment is his way of telling you that he wants to try to save the marriage. If you are just to the point where you want the divorce, then don't go but if you feel that you could work things out, give it a try.
    I wish you alot of luck.
    Jerseymom1228

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 7:09 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Not sure. But you should listen to your heart.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:10 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • No offense... but it's obvious he's working a lot harder at this than you are. You may have thought this through.. but you are going with the this one's broke I'll find another one.. and he's going with the let's fix it before we call it broke. Be thankful that he's made this effort. Most men wouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Even if it doesn't work out the marriage it can help the divorce go more smoothly. I have patients that do the counseling then still decide to get divorced and they say it's helped them realize the real reasons and helped to work out the divorce stuff easier.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • It is truly up to you to make up your mind, but I would be ecstatic if my hubby ever does that. It shows that he does care and does not want a divorce. I think he must really love you, but of course I can't be sure because I don't personally know you guys! Seriously, it seems so sweet that he went and got an appt. with a marriage counselor! I've also been having problems with my hubby, but I don't think he wants to do counseling. But then again, if you don't have any more feelings for him or the love and trust is not there, maybe you need to consider whether this counseling thing will make him love you more. Then it would hurt even worst when you divorce him. GL!
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 7:19 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • It is very encouraging that he wants to seek marriage counseling and even more that he made the appointment. This is good news.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:21 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I understand my husband and I have gone back and forth but I have found that everytime that he has changed he slowly goes back to his old ways. So if you really want to know what I think is give time and see how it goes if you really love him! Not everyone can change but it sounds like he really loves you and wants to try.
    Everettsmom163

    Answer by Everettsmom163 at 7:21 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Never hurts to try
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • (I am the poster) It just really hurts me that he has been treating me like shit constantly for a year and I feel like I don't matter at all to him..He puts me down every day and I am literally dead inside and I just cannot take it anymore. And I have told him this and he just laughs at me. But then he hears divorce and he said that he doesn't want to give me half his paycheck to support his child. (he may have said that because he was angry though because he is a wonderful father, I will give him that much) I am just so confused and way beyond hurt at this point.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Maybe I just read this differently. I like the fact he made an appt. I would be apeshit over being told "I have an appt tomorrow with a marriage counselor" WE would have an appt and I better have the coutesy of a phone call to clear the time first. Sorry...maybe this justs hits me wrong.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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