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7 Bumps

What do I do??

My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and it already seems were in a rut..Hes always been quiet and im always the talker who has to think of something for us to talk about or we just dont talk and then he asks me whats wrong (which drives me NUTS)..but lately I just dont have anything to talk about...I feel like we just sit there and do nothing and dont speak..we cant afford to ever go out so he works comes home and thats its..and I clean all day and take care of the LO..I just dont feel like were as connected as we used to be..we used to have such a great connection and great communication skills...but not anymore, I just feel sad and want to cry, I dont know what Im doing wrong

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Next time he asks what is wrong tell him what you told us.

    Answer by older at 11:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I'm so sorry ...bump

    Answer by ktinaza at 11:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I would try to find something to do together and spend some well needed time with one another! Its getting warm out maybe a picnik or something would be nice just be creative! Everythign will be fine!

    Answer by x3.babymama.x3 at 11:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Plan a date night ...tell him how your really feeling if its easier write him a note and leave it on his pillow...maybe he's quiet because he could be depressed or run down if everyday is exactly the same...I understand about not having money but there's lot you can go do for free or little money ...go for a walk a picnic go to a karaoke night and just get one drink go to borders stargaze while sipping hot chocolate this would prolly brighten both of your moods :)

    Answer by Anastacia1988 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • This is a time when the communication skills are needed. Talk to him about how you feel. He obviously senses your frustration and replies by asking what's wrong. Though that may drive you nuts, he has started that line of communication for you to respond because something is bothering you and it will continue to do so if you don't speak about it with your s/o. Perhaps plan a day where the two of you can go out and do something together to reconnect.

    Answer by virgo550 at 11:26 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Perhaps you need to find a common interest,, my DH and I used to play beach volleyball, and IDK how old your kiddo is, but it was pretty cheap and alot of fun, they had a playground for the kiddos, do you have a family member that would watch the kiddo for you, even if you just made a nice dinner and had a movie night at home? It is pretty normal to fall into patterns the longer you are married, but breaking them early is the key,, hugs and bump!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:26 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • First thing that popped into my mind...Get yourself some nice candles (they're pretty cheap, actually). Put LO to bed, and you and hub have a nice, romantic dinner together (if possible).

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:29 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Whenever I try to talk to him about how I feel he gets mad at me and frustrated and doesnt know how to handle it...Its really hurtful sometimes...Before he deployed we talk about everything and had such good communication skills..But ever since he got back its like I cant talk to him about stuff because he just gets grouchy with me...I dont know what to do, I know I cant change it but it makes me feel alone..when I used to never feel that way with him

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i get like that sometimes with my hunny. she works, comes home, eats, showers, and goes to bed. it kinda sucks...but it's life. you try to find the time for each other. i have asked her for date nights and she tells me to just pick a day on the calendar!
    take the initiative to make it happen. and talk to him. he might feel the same way too once you start diggin'.

    Answer by SarahM.1983 at 11:32 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Deployed you say? Tell him to go talk to a psychiatrist. Sounds like he might have a bit of PTSD or w/e they call it now.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:54 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

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