Let me give some info first. My 16 yr old DD was UPstairs in the bf's bedroom one Sunday watching movies from about 2 until my DH picked her up around 8pm, with dinner in b/w. (DD told me she was downstairs in the next room, admitted later that she lied) She knows she isn't supposed to be in rooms other than common areas of the house when visiting w/boys. Mom was not home, but Dad was downstairs along w/younger brother. They have NO GIRLS and this may be a factor here...My DH called and talked told the Dad that's not how we do things over here, we have them stay in common areas of the house, and the Dad said he was within "earshot" and then "it wasn't a problem when we were growing up." He didn't say he ever went upstairs!! Then, he told my DH that he"can respect that".(our rules??) I have knowledge/saw a message about this boy watching porn, he has a computer in his bedroom as well as a TV/cable. I don't think he has dated or entertained girls at his house before my DD. So, now I get an email from the Mom. See below...btw, when her son has been here, they are never anywhere but downstairs and my 12 year old son is often appearing where they are, living room, kitchen, dining room and my DH can see in the windows if he steps outside in the yard, or if the teens do. Anyway, we do have house rules whether or not anyone else likes them...and my son will have house rules and he already knows it. I am trying to be fair, and not naive and we are fine w/group dates, bowling, mall, dinner, occasional movies.
"I believe we need to have a serious talk. I have been told that your daughter will no longer be able to come over to my house, due to being left alone in my home with only my husband home. I hope this is not true, I have complete confidence in my husband's ability to take care of our children. They were only watching a movie with the door wide open and being checked on. There was a time when my son was at your home and you were not there supervising. Your husband was home but left the children alone to do yard work. I had full trust in the integrity of my son and your daughter to behave themselves. I trust my son and your daughter. They are wonderful young people. I believe my husband and I have done a great job raising our children and I know you have done an amazing job raising your children, it is evident every time I am with your daughter. Our children are against drugs, drinking, and have respect for their own bodies to behave themselves. We are been blessed with our children. I am so very happy to be fortunate enough to get to know your DD and you. Please give me a call and let me know if we can meet next week." I feel like saying "my DD is a wonderful girl because of our rules/guidelines. No freakin' boys bedrooms or upstairs, ok?"
Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)
Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:52 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by SleepyCupcake at 11:55 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 11:55 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by jamesonjustines at 11:55 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by ria7 at 11:56 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by ria7 at 11:58 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 11:58 AM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by swizzleday at 12:00 PM on Apr. 28, 2011
Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2011
I think there was some miscommunication some where. It seems to me that her husband told her you were upset because the kids were alone with only her husband watching them. I also think she might have been offended and thinks that you believe they are not doing a good job because their rules are not the same as yours. You two need to get together and talk things out. Neither one of you needs to feel that anyone is a bad parent because of the different rules. I'm sure that you can get things ironed out. And ignore the obby's comment. Parents need to have faith and trust in their kids. There is nothing worse than having someone plant the seed of doubt in your mind so you can trust your kids.
Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2011