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Why *not* tie allowance to chores?

I asked before my son turned 5 about him getting an allowance when he turned 5. I got lots of input! Thank you!
BUT many moms (and a few magazines I've read) say not to tie allowance to chores. Why not?
When grown ups go to work, they earn their money. No worky, no money. Doesn't it make sense for your kids to have a couple of chores to arn some spending money? Instead of just giving them an allowance for no reason.
You can teach them the value of money management/saving AND a good work ethic at the same time. My husband agrees.
So... why is this so wrong?


Asked by Nicoles2LilRams at 12:18 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 21 (10,161 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (33)
  • When I took a Love & Logic Parenting course I understood it to be that chores are to be expected as part of a family and not something you get paid to do. Tying them to an allowance gives the child the understanding they are working for pay vs doing their share as a productive member of their family.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:20 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Its not wrong. It's just a difference of parenting choices.

    My kids have two different 'types' of jobs. They are expected to keep their rooms clean(ish), put their laundry in the hamper, help put their laundry away, clear their own plates from the table, and keep their own belongings in their place because those are "their things" and their responsibility. They are also expected to help care for the dog they both begged for because it's "their pet" and their responsibility. On the other hand, if they set the table, load/unload the dishwasher, wash the laundry (not just their own), dust, vacuum, take the trash out, and occasional yard work outside their own veggie/flower beds they can earn money. We tie a specific coin value to each task and they earn their allowance based on what they accrue during the week from their various jobs.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:26 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Basic chores are expected by all household/family members. Going above and beyond what is normally expected could be tied to an allowance.


    Answer by KLBrown at 12:28 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I was in agreement with you until I read jamesonjustines' answer. It makes total sense to me. I don't give out allowances, but I do expect chores to be done. My kids get paid when they help with major cleaning jobs - for example, they both earned $5 for hauling stuff off to the dumpster when I did my spring cleaning. My oldest has the chore of taking the trash out as needed, but what they were doing was much more so they were compensated.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:31 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I never got an allowance growing up, and don't plan on giving my kids one. I was expected to keep my room clean, and help wherever mom and dad asked. I did get paid for good grades however, and may do the same for my kids. My dad always said doing good in school can pay off in the long run, so I got $20 for every A,and $10 for every B. As a child I was given money for birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Halloween (from grandparents). I saved it or used it to get myself things. When I was 12 I babysat around the neighborhood for money, and when I was 15 I got my first real job. There would be times where my parents would offer me some cash if I washed their car, or ran an errand for them, etc.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • My children's allowance is directly connected to their chores, and they earn extra for extra chores. In addition, when they refuse to do their chores or misbehave they loose money. As a child it's their JOB to pick up their toys and put their shoes away... So when they do it, they make a "paycheck" just like I do when I do my job. And when they don't do their work, they loose money, just like I do.

    And as they grow, although not yet because my oldest isn't even 5 yet, we will be starting a savings percentage on that, so they can learn how to budget and save.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:04 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • In our home, chores are expected b/c you live here & part of respecting where you live, the things you have & the people you live with is to take care of them. At the same time, if you need something, it is provided w/in reason & w/no strings attached. If our son wants extra money, there are things he can do around the house & the neighborhood to earn the cash. Besides, if you tie chores to an allowance, that leaves an opening for a child to get out of doing his/her chores by saying he/she doesn't care about getting the allowance that week. What do you do then? You can't give any consequences b/c they're already built into the system, so you get stuck doing their chores & the child goes about its merry way.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 4:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • My kids have some chores that the do because they are part of this family, and others that I tie to an allowance. It's just a matter of personal choice.

    Answer by missanc at 12:41 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I pay mine for chores because like you I agree they are doing work and well getting paid for it. There are plenty of other ways for my kids to be tied to the family besides chores. We have a garden we all tend together in the summer and fall. We have family days. We have events we go to together. Being part of a family imo should not mean work, it just is. Doing chores is work. You get paid for them. Mine also get paid for good grades. Again. It is work.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Yes, we get paid for work... not chores. Chores will be a part of their life, for the rest of their life. As an adult we don't get paid to do chores. Being part of a family and contributing in it, is not a paid position in life. Its a responsibility.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 1:15 PM on Apr. 28, 2011