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Is my relitonship going down hill or is it me thinking it?

My husband and I met through a friend that was moving and she needed both our help. It took me awhile to give out my cell phone number to him, but i did thinking ya he will never call me. He did, we hung out and just before i graduated high school i moved in with him and his roommate and his roommates girlfriend. They moved out like a month after i moved in and it was just me and my husband.
We then decided to move to an apartment so i can sign my name on the lease too. Shortly after we moved in and i had my graduation party i found out i was pregnant with our now 3 year old son. I gave birth to him just before my 19th birthday. I had some baby blues, and a lot of mixed emotions. He took me to the dr weeks later and she said it is not the sever baby blues it is more along the line of that i was a new mom, just graduated and whole responsiblity hit me way to fast. He told me he was going to leave then, but we worked things out.
It got better from there, until he started a computer game that he got addicted to, and i was stuck taking care of our newborn son (same son). I told him things need to change or i am leaving him. He changed.
After our son was a little over a year old we moved to a new house(the house we live in now). Things were going great, until he got into a card game that he played back when he was a teenager. So every tuesday he had some guys come over and play this card game with him. I told him does it have to be every tuesday, he said no and changed to every other tuesday.
After our son turned 2 i said should we try for another child. He said sure. I got prego again. In october my now 7month old son was born.
But now i am finding myself wondering did i make a mistake, because i am now doing everything in the house. Cleaning, cooking, changing and taking care of our boys, babysitting, shopping with two kids, doing my husbands chores like take the garabage out, and or change the cat litter.
I ask him to help me but he says no i work 8hrs a day and so u do it. I then said i work from the time i wake up in the morning to the time i go to bed, and still manage to take our boys to visit him at work on his lunch break. I put the kids down at night.
Now the most recent stuff i am getting lately is on Easter and yesterday.
The night before Easter i told him lets get up, get the kids and do the Easter baskets with them. He wanted sex, so we did it, i then said ok lets get a move on i got things to do yet. he says what is for breakfast i said cereal. he goes gets his ceral and messes around with his mp3 player trying to reset it. He gets mad at me because i told him i don't' know where there is anything small enough to poke it. He thinks i am ignoring him. I go in the kitchen to make our 7month old son a bottle, found a pen and tossed to him so he could use that. the pen accidentally hit him, he got ticked picked the pen up and threw it hard. it hit me in the leg where i now have a pen hole and a bruise around it. He manged to call my 7month old son a little F-er too. In the mist of this our 3 year old son is hearing and watching this. I am still having a hard time forgiving him for it.
Now to top it off yesterday we got in an argument during supper. He has been complaining about coughing and just not feeling well. So i said why don't u go in and get it checked out to make sure it is nothing serious. He says no. I then take my son to our neighbor so he could play with his buddy. my husband goes in the basement calls his brother who told him he needs to go in. he then says can u call the walk in find out the wait and who the dr is. I said why u don't want to go in. He said i do now. I said who told u, ur mom. He said no my brother. I call there is a 45min wait at the present time. I then call the neighbor to ask if she can watch my son while i take my husband to the walk in. she said ok and if i want she would watch my other son too, so we don't have to drag him along too. We agreed.
we get to the dr, we sit in the waiting room over an hr. By now my 7month old is hungry and i feel bad cuz i didn't give the neighbor anything for him to eat. We finally get in, the dr comes in and says my husband has Broncitius and an ear infection. he gets meds. Now he drops me off, so i can get our sons, get them ready for bed.
He doesn't help me, with anything, i do it all, and when i ask for his help he refuses to. I feel like i am single mom and he is just a roommate to me.

Answer Question

Asked by at 12:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,515 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well. It sounds like you have all of the control he can pay his computer game a once a week game night cant happen i would feel resentful if my dh tried to tell me what i can and can not do. I think you could have dealt with that a little better such as hey before you get on the computer everyday can you take the garbage out play with the kids for a 30 mins so i can relax lets eat dinner as a family then get on your game and i wont feel stressed and get upset. And hey shoot for since you have a night with the guys i would like for you to give the kids a bath and put them to bed once or twice a week. I understand its frustrating always having to ask and nag but i went through something like this my dh play xbox and i had to sit down and do this guess what he does more than i asked because he seen by doing what i ask im happier which means hes happier lol so he will go a day or two without even playing cont


    Answer by whitenena at 12:53 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • let go of some control let him do things his way as long as it gets done who cares. give him guy time get some girl time. I think i would be worried if i asked this and he just plain out refused. And i had to learn my dhforgets so he does homework every other day now when he NEVER did it one day. But i have to remind him hey its your night. I asked him for one day a week to do the baths and he does it twice. I was feeling like a single parent like you as in i did all the hard work he always played and took them to the park and things like that just no homework no bed time no discipline it was a dont make me get your mom lol but he steped that up to . just sit down and have a serious talk good luck!!!


    Answer by whitenena at 12:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I think I answered this question the last time you posted it. It has to be a give and take. Maybe he would want to help out more if he didnt feel like he was being given ultimatums. Maybe explain that even after his official work shift is over, he still needs to be a daddy!

    Answer by AustinsMommyMI at 12:58 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Wow, Happy Easter. Sounds like you got together too young (how old is he?) and things happened too fast and he wasn't ready.

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 1:15 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Husbands have the stress of making sure they can provide & pay the's constantly on their mind.┬áThese games prob help relax him and take his mind off work. A lot of times they feel like they miss out because they're not home to develop that close relationship w/the kids like the mom has. Yes,, as moms who stay at home it is a full time job but it is still your job. When he's home on the wknds you are STILL working when he's not & that's when he should be picking up the slack. The part about him throwing the pen and cursing @ you...that's another story. If my husband did that I would take my kids and leave until he decided he was ready to listen to what I had to say.

    Answer by 805doll at 1:50 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • To 1smartcookie- he was 23 when we met, and now im 22 and he is 27.

    Comment by (original poster) at 2:28 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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