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How to deal with an interfering mother?

Long story short, I am an only child. I graduated from college, got married, and now my husband and I are expecting our first child (literally any day now). My mother has always been the kind of person that needed to be the center of attention, but now, since I have become pregnant, I feel that it has gotten out of hand. Here is just ONE example of why: Saturday night I sent a text (meant for my nurse) to my cousin about having diarrhea (tmi, i know), since the text was not meant for her, I simply said sorry please disregard the last text. Well the following day (Easter Sunday) I called my parents' house to wish them a Happy Easter, and I got an earful because my mother was crying her eyes out because I did not tell her I had diarrhea! Firstly I don't tell her anything unless I want it to be front page news because with her family, if you tell one person, you tell them all, secondly I didn't tell her because it didn't concern her. She is going overboard with her drama and really needs to stop. Any ideas on how to keep her at bay? My pregnancy is rough enough right now since I'm already passed my due date (about a week). Any advice on how to keep my controlling mother at bay?

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khebert

Asked by khebert at 12:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 7 (155 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Im looking forward to the answers because my MIL is jus like that!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I dont have much advice, but you are going to have to stand your ground with her, let her know this is your business, and that you are the mother, if you need her advice, or want her opinion you will ask for it. You will probably have to hurt her feelings. But your going to have to do it, because its only going to get worse after the baby comes.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 1:05 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I agree. Put your foot down with both and IF and when you need advice or ideas then ask them. otherwise keep your distance and conversations short. If they start in say .. yeah I know, heard it before, thanks for the chat,, gotta go now. Each time. they will get the message. Hubby needs to stand his ground too.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 1:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • LOL At least I'm not the only one who's mother and MIL are like that.
    Put your foot down. Explain that when your mom had you, she did a great job, and wanted to learn like she did, by osmosis. But if there is something you get stuck on she'll be the 'first one' that you ask for advice. Makes them feel important, and gets them out of your hair.
    Thats what I did with my mother
    Michelle H.

    Answer by Michelle H. at 1:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Omg...crying because you didn't tell her what your last crap was like? Yes...that is way beyond dramatic. I would worry about what she is going to be like at the hospital after you have your baby. I would really let her know that was ridiculous, and that the message was meant for your nurse, that diarrhea is not public information, and that being that dramatic is INSANE behavior the took the attention from Easter and was meant to put it on her. That if she can get that dramatic...to the point of tears...over poop...she is going to run people off.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:43 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • tell her how you feel and let her know she is stressing you and the baby out thats what i had to do wiyh my mom
    nofi1389

    Answer by nofi1389 at 3:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • have you tried talkingtoher and saying hey i needsome space not rudely just ahint
    allycat_joanne

    Answer by allycat_joanne at 3:36 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I went to the hospital for an emergency delivery. Called my mom and said we wouldn't be home that night.
    Went into labor about 12 hours later. Called my mom and said I was going to the hospital, but I'd call her if I needed anything.
    Had a baby 2 days later. Called my mom and let her know.

    Easiest way to keep a nosy mother(in-law) at bay is to simply not include them in every moment of your life. They'll get the hint eventually!
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 12:09 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • You know. It's sad to say, but if it weren't for hurting my Poppa's (father) feelings, I would seriously consider not calling and telling my mother about the baby's birth until I was back home. the problem with my mom is that if she calls u twice, and you don't answer, she's at your doorstep the third try (yes, she's that extreme). She's been told to back off by my grandmother, one of her sisters, and my poppa, and still hasn't gotten the hint. I have come to the conclusion that if I have anything to say, I don't say it to anyone, because if it gets back to her I won't ever hear the end of it.
    khebert

    Comment by khebert (original poster) at 8:10 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Baby was born sat april 30th.....you guys were right....she got worse. We got discharged at the hospital sunday, and she was readmitted two days later for jaundice. Since we were admitted to a different hospital, registration and such was quite time consuming, so I sent a text to my dad, letting him know we were there, and that I would call with details when we got them and when things slowed down. Well, of course that was not good enough for my interfering mother who felt that I should call her immediately with the details because she was grandma and had a right to know. I'm sorry but my child comes first......so since i didnt' call her when she wanted me to, i recieved a voicemail (mom) on my phone saying that I was a horrible daughter and that something was going to happen to my mother and I was gonna be sorry cause I treated her like crap..some kind of mother i have......
    khebert

    Comment by khebert (original poster) at 11:56 AM on May. 9, 2011

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