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My Husband is spending alot of money on things he doesn't need

We are a young couple he's in the military and this is the first time he's had alot of money to do things he wants with but he spent $2500 on things he didn't need we have a 16 month old and we are going to be haveing a newborn in three weeks I've tried talking to him about his spending but he says he will get more I know he's earning it about I want to have money to get our kids stuff what should I do some ppl say that I should take money out of his account and put it in mine. Yes I should have a job and make my own money but he got all pissy he wants me to be a stay at home mommy. But if this keeps happening I'm almost thinking about leaveing.

 
Everettsmom163

Asked by Everettsmom163 at 7:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • you are married so half or what is his is yours figure out your household bills so every time he gets money, go get at least half to pay for what the family needs.Crap give him an allowance to spend on toys once his allowance is gone tell him to go ask his kid if he can spend his diaper and food money on something retarded put the guilt trip on him! He may just be so excited to have money to spend the novelty will wear off and he will come to his senses. More couples fight over money more than anything else. You have two kids that need to have at least one adult parent! lol!
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • What you two need to do is sit down and have a budget discussion. It's not his money, it's both of yours. You should go through and look at his post-tax income and all of the bills that are due each month. Subtract the bills from the post-tax income. Then figure out about how much you spend on recurrent expenses like groceries, household stuff, gas, dining out, etc. Subtract that as well. Then decide on a reasonable amount to put into savings each month. Then an amount to put into a retirement acct. Then with what's left over, decide on a reasonable amount that each of you can spend each month, guilt free.  That way he can buy fun stuff but you're taking care of the important things first.

    degsyuna

    Answer by degsyuna at 8:03 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • you two need to sit down and make a budget. set long term goals. make sure he contributes to retirement for the both of you. make sure you are saving and giving, you have food and clothing. list what you want to spend on birthdays and christmas. list things you want to save for. then make another list of things you want for yourselves and your children, then budget for them. know the importance of not being in debt at a young age. if you do these things and save first and know where your money is then everyone will eventually be able to get what they want.
    momofasweetie

    Answer by momofasweetie at 8:05 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Let me tell you something. YOU do NOT have to be working. YOU are doing what is important by taking care of his babies. I know what you're going through. My husband is doing the same thing. I finally started spending money like he was and he realized how stupid he was being.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 8:05 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • As his responsibility as the husband and father of the home he should understand that you cant just spend whatever you want on things. im 19 and my fiancees 18 and I just have a pat time job that I work 4 hours 3 days a week and he is a manager and makes most of the money, but he understands that he cant go buy all these new things HE wants because he knows he has a car payment I have my car payment electricity rent on the apartment, were about to buy a new house and insuance cell phones and cable. When he wants to buy something he doesnt just go and waste the money he asks me about it. Your hubby needs to understand that its not ALL about him anymore. It needs to be about his family.
    HollyRose

    Answer by HollyRose at 8:08 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • My husband is the same way! My mom told me 15 years ago to start stashing money in a savings account for emergencies or in case I get tired or dealing with his crap! I didn't listen then and now I regret it! I wish I had listen to her! Talking and making a family budget is great if you can get him to go along with it. But if it doesn't work, stash money in your account! I am a stay at home mom too. My husband and I almost divorced a couple of years ago. We are still together because we couldn't afford a divorce. I have no education past high school and very little work experience. Now no one will hire me because I haven't worked in 10 years. One of you has to be the Adult in the relationship. If stashing money is the only way you can keep him from spending too much the start stashing!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 8:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Like they said you need to sit down with him and set a budget. Maybe he can spend a few hundred or whatever is in the buget but he does need to realize that everyone in the family has needs and no one person should be spending most of the money especially on things that aren't needs.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 8:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2008