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Why does this seem sad to me?

my daughters friend is pregnant, and when i was talking to my daughter on the phone last night she told me how her friends family refuses to throw a baby shower for her, and is forcing the dads parents to throw one even though they dont have the money to be doing it (they dont even have enough money to fill their fridge every week) i find it sad that my daughters friends family seems to completely hate her for a mishap with birth control, something that she had no control over, my daughters friends dad keeps telling her to get an abortion, and her aunt is trying to force her to put the baby up for adoption, they already talked about all that and shes keeping the baby

i dont know why this upsets me so much, if it was my daughter that got pregnant , even though it wasnt what i wanted for her i would still love her and throw her a baby shower and buy her the things she needs when she needs help

my daughters friend is 18 had to move back in with her dad after her and her boyfriends landlord stole their money and got them evicted in December and that's when she found out she was pregnant, i sadly cant throw a baby shower for her since i live across the country from them (they live in California i live in Maine)my daughters friend also got fired from work before she found out she was pregnant so they are a little tight on money that's why they are living with their parents again

oh and my daughters friend is 18 (like i said) and the boyfriend is 20 just to clear that up

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • The shower is one thing, the tragic thing is that this young woman will have a new baby with absolutely no family support. Tragic.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:41 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Poor girl. Before everyone else rips on her, I could care less that she is 18, unmarried, or jobless, shit happens. Now, as for the baby coming, her parents will probably just melt when that baby gets here, I hope at least! I am across country from my mother too, and what she did was send me the baby shower in the mail lol She bought most everything and had my friends from back home buy stuff for her to send as well. They all got together at my moms house and we all got on webcam together while we opened the gifts! Couldn't have been more perfect :) Would you be up for something like that?

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • It is sad. I have seen and heard of parents who just dont support their kids. I think if someone gets pregnant and wants their child then it is not up to anyone else to try and make them feel guilty, or punish them into changing their mind. I am sure it will all work out. I would try and talk to said friend and tell her to cut herself off from her family until the baby is born. She needs supportive people in her life right now.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:43 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Do you think maybe you could send a little money to your DD and have you DD offer to throw a shower? I threw a nice shower once on $75. I was a younger, single mom myself and I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have a baby shower to get the things my baby needed.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i wish for her that she could leave her dads house, i used to live in California my daughters friend is the sweetest person in the world, she cant go anywhere sadly shes stuck with her family, i would tell her to go live with her boyfriend and his parents since they are excited but they have 7 people living in that house (the boyfriend his 2 younger sisters his younger brother and the parents) and if they add one more person the rent will go up and then it'll go up again when the babies born

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i could send money to my daughter but i can only send $100 gift card (the american express gift cards) which would be enough if i hadn't seen the guest list to the baby shower lol there are alot of people gonna be there

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:52 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Poor girl, look on Craiglist and see if anyone can donate to her as well. Some ladies can be really kind :)

    Answer by RyansMommy7507 at 1:55 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • No one has to have a baby shower. By all means send her a gift (gift card or whatever) but don't feel at all bad about a baby shower. People can always bring you gifts no need for a party to do that. As far as her living situation they need to get up and do ANY work they can. Cleaning, grass cutting, helping elderly people with household task anything to start saving money.

    Answer by treynlisa at 2:04 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • well its not only the baby shower that makes me sad its the way her family treats her...its like they think she did this on purpose to piss them off or something

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:08 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Well I just had a little girl 3 1/2 months ago and more clothes than I know what to do with and I have some snotty friends that don't want used stuff lol what can I do to help? I know she doesn't know what she's having yet, but.....send me an email if I can do anything: )

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:17 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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