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So, in grade school, teachers tell me he needs to grow up ... yet in college, advisors say he needs his mommy?

DS is starting college in the fall; he'll be attending my alma mater. DS went in to meet with an advisor re: some questions he had before he registers for classes next month (he'll actually be taking 2 courses over the summer before he starts full time in August). They won't talk to him unless I am with him!!!!

I find the entire thing laughable because 1) he is more than capable of doing this on his own (I mean, c'mon, he's 18 and a very responsible young man about to embark on COLLEGE, not pre-school), and 2) I recall back to when he was in 1st and 2nd grade and some of his teachers would tell me he desperately needed to grow up (let's just say that, at the time, he was not the most organized kid but he was only 6/7 years old, for Pete's sake).

Laughable, right???


Asked by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • That is strange. I am a college professor and if the student is over 18 we are not required to talk to parents at all. In fact, we are prohibited. So I find this really strange unless it is a financial issue.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 5:41 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • wow, that is funny and quite silly!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:24 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Yep!

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:25 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Well, for my son's college they feel that the parents should be involved in their children's education. Parents have access to their grades, to their teachers if need be, etc.. Our son is getting A's and B's (1st year) and we haven't had a need to do any of that but it's nice to know it's there. One of the deciding factors ON a students acceptance to the school is how involved their parents are....those without uninvolved parents aren't accepted.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I find this full of crap. No college advisor would say that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Perhaps it depends on the school the student is attending. At my 5 children's schools (5 different colleges) parents can call and speak to the professors whenever they want. We pay cash out of pocket for our 5 children (age 19yo m/f twins, 20yo daughter, 21yo son and 22yo daughter) who are in college and between the 4 of them we pay $283,000 a year for college PLUS for their housing ($600-$1,000/mo EACH for rent for the 3 who are not Freshmen and next year rent for all 5) & for food, clothing and spending money (they each get a $1,000/month allowance for those things and we pay their car notes, insurance and cell phone bills as well) and we can call and speak to their coaches, professors and administrators at any time. Considering we spend nearly $700,000 a year to educate the 5 of them....I EXPECT to have that access. At community sandbox school a lot of the students ARE adults.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • No, there is no financial issue as we have the money to cover 100% of his college. He has already been accepted; we are not applying for financial aid..

    I understand being involved in my child's education - and I always have been - but he is legally an adult. Plus, I will not have access (unless DS divulges his passwords) to his schedule, grades, etc. The school has made it very clear that these students are ADULTS (at least in the law's eyes) and they are prohibited from sharing that info with parents, as a PP stated. This was the case for me as well 30 years ago (it's my alma mater).

    The college advisor actually called me to say they preferred the parents to be there so, yes, anon, THIS particular advisor did say that. My thought is that I'm dealing with an ill-equipped or misinformed advisor. No harm done, but it sure made me laugh!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • boy kissing momI find it hilarious!!!!!!!!!!! 


    Answer by Dahis at 11:32 AM on Apr. 29, 2011