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is this disrespectful or not?

okay quick question.
my hubby talks to his ex from A long time ago.. however he did cheat on me with her when we were dating.. so she like comes and goes.. but she lives in a different state, as of lately.. though she's been leaving messages on his myspace.. like "do you have your phone i need to talk to you? love you bye!" or "hey love how are you, i miss you, love you bye!" so my hubby and i got into it about a week or so ago about her, and he is telling me its not disrespectful of him to still talk to her? how do i make him understand that it is? or is not? help?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I had a squabble with my hubby about something similar. A female friend of his that he's known as long as me sent him a forward on his phone that said something like "I was told to send this to the sexiest person in my phonebook. Since I can't send it to myself, would you send it to me?" I threw a fit! I felt like this crossed the line, and I let him know it. I don't mind him having female friends as I have male friends, but there's a line you just don't cross. He let her know how I felt, and as far as I know, there hasn't been any further texts like that. (If there has, he hasn't told me, lol.) I love this man more than anything, but I want to be the love of HIS life too. If he doesn't love me enough to respect me, I don't need to be with him. I agree on your feelings in your situation.

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • hes probably still screwing her so to him he cuold care less if it is disrespectful or not. i dont think you can make him realize that if hes still doing it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I think it's very disrespectful. I went through that with my son's father and eventually just had to get him out of my life. He was always leaving comments to her about how she looked cute and how he wishes he could hang out with her all the time and stuff (his ex I mean). You need to just tell him that YOU are his wife and that he needs to show YOU that attention. If he cheated on you with her, you have every right to be upset. Let him know if it doesn't change you'll leave. If he loves you enough he'd stop.

    Answer by msburnitdown at 8:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • IMO: I think it's totally disrespectful for him to talk to her, especially when she's leaving messages like the ones she's leaving! If it's totally innocent, I don't see a problem with it, but I think she's totally crossing the line...and I think he should see that. Again....this is just my opinion!

    Answer by misspriss_mv at 8:19 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • He's wrong to let her talk to him like that. Considering he has been with her while with you he should not be talking to her period because you should be all he needs.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 8:21 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • It's very disrespectful and he knows it! Ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed. I think he is still cheating with her or will be very soon!

    Answer by amydh at 8:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • first why is she still talking to him?? 2)why is she calling 3) do they have kids together,,,,then if it's about the kids it's ok to talk ...but he's with you so the i love you should be said to you not her,,,,have a talk with ,him, tell him what is bothering you,,,good luck,,,, been there,,,,,

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 8:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • She is crossing the line. Ask him how he would feel if a man were saying he loved you, and it was a man you cheated on him with in the past?

    awful. it does seem like something sketchy is going on though. snoop or something! read his texts and myspace messages!

    Answer by Sandiii at 8:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • First off it is not ok for her to do that, and it does sound like hes having an affair, so if he cant see how wrong it is try putting it in his terms and see what he would think if a man you slept with was leaving thoes messages on your myspace,,,he would think your cheating wouldnt he, so tell him her actions make it seem like she is sleeping with him and that is wrong of her to do

    Answer by georgesmommy31 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • thanks you guys.. and no they do not have kids. but they still talk. and i told him it was disrespectful and he said THATS MY FRIEND FROM WHEN I WAS LIL.. okay i dont give a fuck anymore i'm tired.. and i thought we were finally really happy but shit i guess i'm not fucken enough..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Dec. 3, 2008