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Advice on handling a very stubborn and hard headed sibling.........it is a bit long, forgive me.

No smart ass comments like "wooo thats too long, I couldn't even finish it!" Thank u very much.

Here is a little background. My sister is 25 yrs old and lives in FL. She also has 3 kids ages 12 yr old girl...6 yr old boy......4 yr old girl. She has been with this guy "Rob" for approx 2 yrs. Hes is currently in prison, again, in Missouri. He had a petty drug charge, would have gotten off with probation except he left state to go to FL. He got nabbed in FL sent back to Missouri. AS far as guys go, he is actually a good guy considering, great with the kids. Anyway, our mom died back in Oct 2010. While our mom was dying, she pulled alot of shit, made my life hell and other members of the family by making us work for any info on our mom's status at the time. I still find myself hating her, but I am working on that. If anyone needs more info on the subject of my sister and what she did then go to me and others go to the journals and find "5 stages of Grief". Anyway, I am still am wanting to help her regardless, she is my sister whether or not I like it. My sis wants to move to Missouri next month. She says there is nothing for her in FL. Rob is still in prison until next yr or so. I ask her her common sense questions like, do u have a place to live? Do u have a job lined up? Do u know if there is even a place for u to go to anymore cause of her flooding and all the tornados. Rob told me once his family lived within a football field away from the Mississippi river. She has no place lined up to live in, she says she is going to be living with Rob's family until whenever she gets on her feet. She tells me she is going to file for Social Security Disability cause of the Parkinson disease and Bipolar. I know she will not be approved for it cause she hasn't worked long enough to build up the money nor has she worked within her last 5 or 6 years, nor has she been treated for the Parkinson yet cause it not quite bad enough yet (her words awhile back), and she been treated by a shrink for the last 2 yrs for her bipolar. I also know Rob's family doesn't like her, she just doesn't know that. And my mom made me promise not to tell her. She has 3 kids she as to be concerned with. What in the hell is she thinking?? I try to talk to her about it, but she always ends up yelling at me, arguing. She has no job, no concrete place to stay. She is moving in the middle of the worst tornado outbreak in American history. While at times I really do NOT like her very much, but she as 3 kids she has to think about!!! The only thing she has done good is waiting until the kids are out of school. What can I do?? Who knows if Rob still wants to be with her? What if he was using her for a safe place to stay and didn't have to work that much? He was staying with my sister and mom while he was in FL, and didn't keep a job longer then 3 or 4 months before he either got fired or quit and of course blaming it on his employer at the time. So now when he gets out, he will be free as a bird and won't need her. How do I talk to her about all this without pissing her 0ff or hanging up on me? HELP!! PS...please do not just focus on the shit that when on when my mom was dying. Theres alot more history then just then what has been written in there, and the bullshit she has pulled in the past But I am working on, it a slow process. But I am the only family that is even talking to her. Our brother isn't even talking to her.

 
Michigan-Mom74

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 5:37 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • Okay, Parkinson's....isn't it more likely that she doesn't have this disorder at all; rather, it is symptoms from the medications for bipolar?

    Second, you are trying to rationalize with someone who has bipolar. That is not always possible. Is she seeing a psychologist? Better things to ask might be what is your psychologist saying about all of this.

    Unfortunately, it sounds like she is not stabilized on medications. Otherwise, she would be making more rational choices. In this situation, the best thing you can do is offer to help out the children.

    People have to want to be helped to get better. Sounds like she doesn't want to hear your advice. There isn't much else you can do.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 6:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • The best you can do sometimes for the ones you love is be there when they fall. You can't help people who don't want help. I think you should tell her you don't think it's a good idea, wish her the best, and tell her to call you if she needs help. Let her know you are there for her and than wait for her to ask you for help.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 6:08 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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