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What do you do when you are unhappy in your marriage?

my husband and i have been together four years,married 2.i have four kids(one with him).im a stay at home mom and he works.after work or on his days off,all he wants to do is play video games.he never spends time with me and the kids.i have to begg him to come out the bedroom and spend time with us,even then he complains.he thinks nothing is wrong with this.he also wants to have sex all the time,but i really don't want to anymore.i feel like the spark is not their anymore.i have mentioned divorce,but he says that he is not going anywhere.what should i do/

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Have you really told him exactly how you feel?
    RedDahlia82

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 5:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i have told him many times and things never change.he thinks nothing is wrong.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:59 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • See a counselor. If he doesn't agree to go, then there's nothing you can do. He will only change if he wants to. If he doesn't care enough about your happiness, then he isn't mature enough to be married in the first place. Marriage is a compromise. I'd give him an ultimatum...come to counseling or see you in court.
    hill_star03

    Answer by hill_star03 at 6:43 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I don't think leaving is the best option at this point either. I would let him know that it doesn't exactly turn you on to see him when he surfaces from his video games only long enough to try to sleep with you. If he wants more sex, he will be giving you some of the attention he gives to the game.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 6:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • See a counselor- first, by yourself. Tell him you want things to change, and you're willing to put in the effort- but he needs to reciprocate that. When I'm unhappy in a relationship- but plan to stay- I work on myself first before trying to change someone b/c that's impossible. Did you jokingly or seriously mention divorce?- b/c I wouldn't want to spend time w/ my wife (if I was him) if she was talking about divorce...and did his behavior recently change to be like this?? What was it like when you married? Try to plan fun and different outings, b/c routines can get old. Remind him (and yourself) why you married each other...good luck
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 7:02 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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