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Baby shower drama please help!

I need some opinions. I decided to plan my friend a shower to return the favor. She planned one for me and I felt like it was the right thing to do, however now I am regretting my decision. while I am greatful that she threw me a shower, I wanted to do it myself. She put little effort into it and It kind of upset me, but I said nothing since she didnt have to do it in the 1st place. so now here I am throwing this shower, at 1st it was me and another of our friends, and then another of her friends that she has known for about a year now is helping. I plan nice events, however I am very frugal and get the most bang for my buck, I work on a very tight budget and use the dollar stores for alot of the stuff. She got my stuff from the dollar store but not the baby shower stuff, a bunch of non s hower things and did NO decorating. I was going to get the decorations from there. her "new friend" has totally taken over, my friend even now gos to her with any comments, questions, wants, needs, etc. this friend has money, something I dont have much of. she wants all these lavish items for the shower and is going very over board, I have explained to her many times that I can not afford it and she doesnt get it. She also doesnt seem to like any of my ideas either as she keeps saying oh we will just keep looking for stuff. I dont know what to do about this, I dont want to pull out of the shower, but I am getting sick of my wants and ideas getting cast aside, and nothing I say seems to get through to this girl. I want her to have a nice shower, I just feel like its going over board and being made to much of for a person who isnt an "all out" type of person. also this is her 3rd, its also her boyfriends 3rd as well. they both have children from previous relationships


Asked by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Home & Garden

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Honestly, I'd back out. I'd tell your friend, "I love ya but person X really has a vision for your shower and I cannot compete with it. I'm going to let her finish the planning and details."

    If she presses you, (3rd child!!!!) tell her the other girl just has a bigger budget, you've told her you can't do it and she's not respecting where you stand with this and you're tired of being knocked down and you hope she can understand. And DO NOT be sorry for your decision. What's happening is super lame.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:51 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • If you don't want to back out, then I think the thing to do is offer to pay for the food instead (if that will work with your budget) and tell the others they are in charge of decor, or just say, "I can contribute DOLLAR AMOUNT" and if you want to get the more expensive stuff I'm fine with that if you pay the difference."

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i'm a bit confused. when you say 'she want to get lavish items', are you talking about the other friend (with money) or the pregnant friend?
    in any case, if either one wants more expensive than you can afford, tell them to buy it. you can't afford it, and that's it. i wouldn't completely back out, but if it makes you feel better to let the other friend take over AND PAY FOR IT, then let her. apparently, she's bossy and getting her way, anyway. i'd step down, and stop spending my money, but go ahead and support them in their effort!

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:53 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • If you do back out and feel badly about it ,maybe you can do something small for her when the baby comes home. Like a reception or something.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 7:17 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • jeanclaudia, you're brilliant! Excellent advice.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 7:14 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i dont see why you should have a shower for baby #3 to begin with...

    Answer by asil at 7:39 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • dullscisors I ment the friend, I can see how that got a bit confusing. I really dont even know what my friend wants anymore, she doesnt speak to me about the shower, only to her other friend who has pretty much taken over. I also thought about making chocolates and chocolate pops, but doing them in pink since shes having a girl and then wrapping them in decorative bags and attaching a nice thank you letter from her and her boyfriend and that would save my friend on having to send and buy thank yous. apperently none of my favor ideas are good enough since they are cost efficient

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:47 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • asil her last child was born over 8 years ago, i was planning more of a sprinkle then a full out baby shower, the same with mine, i had my 3rd after an 8 year age gap and 2 boys, it was my 1st girl and it was only ment to be a small event

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:51 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I'd just back out and tell my friend I felt like I wasn't needed.

    Answer by meooma at 8:14 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I would back out. She doesn't seem like she's interested in your ideas any way. Let her and the other friend do all the planning. I'd just show up to eat cake. lol

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 28, 2011