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Oh crap this is going to be bad

I'm 99.9% certain that I'm pregnant(I never show up before about 7 weeks so the wait is killing me). But the slightly awkward situation is that my SIL is miscarrying most likely and would have had about the same due date. I've had miscarriages and would not have been very pleased at that time of my life to find out that a relative is having a baby and your not and on top of all this my in-laws have been telling us over and over and over again that they think we're idiots for having even one child right now let alone our second. As a plus though my family's pretty happy at the idea,heck it would be around my Father's birthday which would be the greatest thing ever according to them.

Is there going to be a nice way to tell family that will be less then pleased at your pregnancy that you are expecting around the same time that they wanted a grandchild from their other child? Would e-mail possibly be better then in person or maybe Facebook so they can't say anything too bad because the whole family can see it?

Answer Question

Asked by lizziebreath at 7:33 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,846 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If you are pregnant.... wait. wait the 3 months and then tell them. It might still be painful for her but at least it wont be hitting her days after she miscarried.

    Life is like this sometimes... all will be ok... it will just take time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • in person. And make sure your SIL is the first to know. It would be more hurtful IMO to get that kind of info second hand. 'I know you are having a rough time right now and I just wanted you to know I found out I was pregnant. I know this must be hard for you to hear so I will not bring it up again I just wanted you to be the first to know.'

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:36 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I wouldnt post it on facebook or email it to them. If I were you I would wait til I knew FOR SURE then either tell everyone all at once, like at a family dinner, or have your hubby call the people on the top of the list, like his mom and dad.

    Answer by Love2BMommy77 at 7:38 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • wait a couple months then tell them.

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 7:40 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • maybe you could wait a little bit until your sil gets through her tough time. i just had a miscarriage and i didnt want to even see a pregnant lady! that was a few weeks ago and now im ok. no matter what you cant change the fact your preggo. and as for your inlaws, just do what makes you happy. its not up to them if you should have children or not as long as your not relying on them for help.

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 7:40 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I agree with waiting until you are over 3 months pregnant. You can't make everyone happy and you can't live your life trying. If they aren't going to be happy then don't worry about them. It is what you and your husband feel that matters the most.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:48 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I would tell your SIL first, maybe privately over coffee or lunch. THEN I would tell your in-laws in person. And, if they get too far into the blame game, LEAVE. You're a grown woman and DO NOT have to put up with BS from anyone.

    What a sticky situation, good luck.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • The Mommies above gave some great advice. Do it in person for sure not through email or facebook that would be cruel and impersonal. Give her the respect of telling her in person.

    Answer by Melbornj at 8:39 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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