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I don't want to tell her.

I was at a party last weekend and I haven't been to one in about 3 years and I haven't drank in the same 3 years. My son was at his grandmother's house for the weekend so I thought what the hell. My friends from out of town convinced me to go out. Well needless to say I am a total lightweight and I got sloshed off of Patron. I have no idea what happened. I woke up at my friend's house in my underwear and someone's undershirt. I tried to get up but I had the biggest headache of my life. I rolled over and I was in bed with my HS friend's boyfriend. I haven't seen him in about 5 or 6 years but I recognized him and I thought OMG did I just sleep with this guy? Does he have a girlfriend still?

I jumped out of the bed and staggered to the living room looking for a familiar face. I saw my friend on the couch and I yanked her by the face and screamed what the hell happened last night?! We went out on the porch and she said I took a couple of shots and her boyfriend came over with some of his friends (that guy i guess) and we all started taking shots and I guess he was flirting with me and the next time she saw me I was making out with him and I was mortified while she told me all of this. She said we dissapeared into the other rooms and she didn't see me after that.

It's really fuzzy but I sort of remember having sex but not really. I can't believe this happened to me, you hear about someone blacking out and they say they didn't know what they were doing but I never believed it. I gathered my stuff and went home right then and there. I take responsibility for my actions but I still can't believe non of my friends checked on me or anything. What if I was being raped in one of those rooms or something. Needless to say I am getting new friends. I never want to see any of those people again. Should I tell my old HS friend even though I don't know if they are still together and I haven't spoken to her since we graduated?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • wow. i am sorry.

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 7:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I believe he can still be charged with rape if sex occurred. But you would need to go to the ER and have a rape kit done.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i'm sorry hugs mama

    Answer by mamawilbur at 7:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • He could have put the date rape drug in your drink and raped you. You should have gone right to the ER, the drug doesn't stay in the system very long.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • No purpose will be served with you telling your high school friend. You don't even know for sure what happened. Follow thru with getting a new group of friends and be careful in the future.

    Answer by meooma at 7:52 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Yes it still can be rape, you should go get checked out and get a rape kit done. I am so sorry.

    Answer by voni681 at 7:53 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • To the op, sorry you had a bad's very strange to black out and not know what happened. As far as telling your friend, just follow your heart.

    hopeandglory53, please point me to the part where this woman was raped? I seem to have missed that. I saw that she got drunk, blacked out and during the black out she probably had sex. People can black out and others would never know they are blacking out. It doesn't mean she was unconscious, it means she can't recall the events. She may, in her drunken state and of her own will given consent. Charging someone with rape who you agreed to have sex with is wrong, even if you're drunk because they have no way of knowing you are not able to make that choice. If she was out cold, it was rape...but I doubt he'd have been next to her the next morning.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 7:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I don't consider blackout sex rape unless a person is drugged. I'm sorry this happened but your right those friends really let you down. I wouldn't tell the old HS friend unless she confronts you asking in which case I wouldn't lie either.

    Answer by kayslay at 7:59 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Please learn to really read statements made, Angie. I said "I believe". I did not say "he can/will". The only way to know for certain is to go to the ER, find out IF sex occurred, and find out what the laws are in her state.

    Yes, SOME places consider "blacked out" sex to still be rape, even if she MIGHT have given consent.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 8:06 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • AMEN CALLMEANGIE. I agree. Whats done is done as far as HS friend and if they were dating dont you think SOMEONE would have said so. Future : monitor the amount of booze, and be cautious of groupie guys.... they r only out for one thing especially if they keep wanting to do shots with you.

    Answer by kkbird at 8:06 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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