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14 year old stepdaughter has a boyfriend...really?

My stepdaughter has been in a relationship with the same boy for over a year. She started wearing heavy make up and revealing clothes when she was 12 years old. This is all okay and promoted by her mom. Her social life is priority and she is an average student.

We always told her she could start dating at 16, wear light make-up until high school at which time she could choose to wear more. And pretty much NO revealing clothes while living under our roof!

Her dad and I are concerned about her health & safety. We promote school, family, and faith first, but she completely goes against our beliefs and doesn't care at all since her mom allows her to do anything.

Should I try to get more involved or continue to take a backseat and ignore the issues? I feel like I can't even talk to her because she thinks everything she's doing is perfectly fine.

Has anyone been through this type of situation?

 
Lola.Bee

Asked by Lola.Bee at 9:45 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 8 (259 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Argh! I have so been there. It's been about thirteen years, but I still remember how irritating it is when bio-mom doesn't understand she's creating some real problems and issues that will remain with her daughter forever. And whether she undermines your rules because she's jealous, she doesn't see the problem, or she does it for sport, doesn't make any difference.

    Unfortunately, I don't have any real good advice. I was and am a very involved stepmom. I had to be. Stepping back is so hard when you know these kids better than they know themselves and you really do love them and care. But as a stepmom you tend to be the most powerless ones in the fight and when it came to girl stuff, it always seemed so hard for my husband to stand his ground.

    If she lives with you, stick to your guns. But if she lives with bio-mom...unfortunately there isn't much you can do but say your peace and be hope for the best. Hang in there!
    blu_canary

    Answer by blu_canary at 10:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • That has to be hard. Has anyone had the Sex talk with her? With the boyfriend? I know that not every girl who wears revealing clothes and heavy make up is having sex....but it would worry me.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 9:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Sort of. I have a 14 year old but me and her stepdad have the same ideas on what she can wear, how her makeup can be and boys. Her dad doesn't see her so I don't have to worry about that. You can't step back or something bad can happen. Id explain to her how the rules in your house is.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • sex talk, birth control, condoms
    Yep, its time
    LovinMyJay4

    Answer by LovinMyJay4 at 11:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • yes my sisterlaw daughter acted same way no step up tell her the rules & tell her she heading down dangers road be sure tell her that you both love & care about her & tell her she better respect her self or go live with her un-fit mother
    sassy21176

    Answer by sassy21176 at 12:06 PM on May. 1, 2011

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