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How would you handle this with your husband?

He is all about his feelings. When he is stressed out he is snappy and can be rude to me and the kids. I ask him to consider how he is coming off to us because it does not help the situation to act like that toward us. One day he was dropping me off to an appointment and our car stalled out and he was being rude. I got out of the car and he drove off up a hill and left me to walk up the hill. He was moody about the car but I think that was uncalled for. I did nothing at all to provoke him. When I told him I was hurt by that he didn't apologize. He just said he was moody. Like it is some kind of justifiable excuse for his actions. Well, then later that day I was frustrated with things I needed to get done and I decided to get away from everyone for a bit to cool off. He invades my space and won't let me take a moment and I end up snapping at him. Keep in mind I did leave the room to chill. I have lots going on. I just gave birth 3 weeks ago and I am exhausted. He tells me he thinks I am mean and he can't deal with me snapping at him! pssh. He holds sooo many double standards. I didn't attack him on purpose and I certainly don't act like it is ok like he does. He has said I am a bitch because I snap at him when he won't leave me alone and I have to be forceful. All the while he has slammed doors in my face just because he gets stressed over things like his work schedule. He came home one day from work and broke a lamp because he was mad about his night at work. I tell him I think that is out of line and he says he doesn't care and he rudely tells me to go away. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would talk to him and if he dont listen then I would stay away from him until hes done his attitude.men I swear they get pms!!
    mammaangelof4

    Answer by mammaangelof4 at 10:14 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I don't have advice. just want you to know you are not alone. i am a SAHM and accually we just had a fight tonight cause i am sick with broncitis and a cold and didnt get much done around the house today, but keep in mind i did grocery store, and let mother in laws dog out, put dishes away, taking care of our 3 year old son and dog, so i didn't vaccum today... but yet yesturday he stays home sick from work and plays effin xbox all day. and he has the nerve to yell at me for taking a "sick day". I am sorry hun i wish i had more to tell you but i just wanted you to know you are not alone..
    Shorty616

    Answer by Shorty616 at 10:17 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • That is awful shorty. You don't deserve that.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I wish I knew. Mine was being like that today. It was the wrong thing to do because I'm just fed up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Short Temper! Your priority right now is your baby. Don't neglect yourself or your baby thinking about the problems your dh causes. As PP said stay away from him. If he comes back from work looking for someone to blame for his bad day then don't give him the satisfaction. Invite someone over you'll see that your dh will restraint himself if he knows someone else besides you and the baby is at home. Or you can go a visit your friends. Let your dh unwind all by himself.
    MMXI

    Answer by MMXI at 10:27 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I would make a list of the things he does/says to you that are immature and hurtful when he is "moody" and when he tries to act like he is so deeply offended by something you do or say, hand it to him.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:45 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • wow,sounds familiar....my man is alot like this...I remember 2 yr ago right after my daughter was born,I had my 19 month old puking everywhere and my newborn screming and my man telling me to shut them up but refused to help,I got up from the couch went into the other room her followed me and kept ranting,I punched a hole in the wall(first and only time ever) and he saw how upset I was and apologised and i said he was lucky it wasnt his head that had a hole in it,after that i never expected or asked him for help again
    mum2flowers

    Answer by mum2flowers at 10:46 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • My DH is the same way, full of double standards and a total hypocrite, but completely unaware. The worst part is I spend so much time figuring out the best way to approach him and word things, and it seems like no matter how I bring up this issue he gets SO defensive and goes apeshit on me. I wish I had a solution to this for all of us who are dealing with stubborn men! Unfortunately, at this point i've discovered the best approach is waiting until he's sure to be calm (weekends, days off work or when he's in a good mood) and then gently bring it up as neutrally as possible and point out that if I did that to HIM, how would he feel? In your case, you just had a baby, he needs to GROW THE HELL UP!
    ShainaMay

    Answer by ShainaMay at 3:38 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

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