Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My husband is acting like his family is perfect....

I have had issues with his family from the start. They are very controlling of him and before even knowing me decided I was bad news because he stopped going home as much. After years of abuse from them I still tried to be nice for my husbands sake. I never was rude to them or said anything rude about them to him. I respect how important family is. Well, we recently had a baby and his parents said they would come visit us. It was very important to my husband. They ended up not coming and my husband asked me if I would be willing to go to them. It had only been 3 weeks since giving birth to a 10 pound baby and his parents live 6 hours away. I knew that trip would be hard on me but I said ok because it meant a lot to him. We get there and I find out that his parents did not come because they went on a road trip to a casino instead. When they told my husband it was because they were too tired to make the trip to us. His mom was rude to me at various times and I remained polite. On our way home he asked me how I felt about the trip. I told him I felt overwhelmed and tired. It was a fairly good visit but I had a hard time with some comments made. He made excuses for them and I asked him how he would feel if I did that to him. He said he was ok with however I felt about things and his family. But when I said I was upset about some things said and thought some was not needed he snapped at me and said he didn't care. He talks about my family openly. He says my brother is a loser and he has called my mom a bitch before and I respectfully listen to him and gently ask he not be so harsh. That doesn't stop him. But I go out of my way to be nice and express concern in a polite way because he asked me how I felt and he treats me like that!? What would you do here?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Well, since he won't stand up for you, you do it. If his mom is being nasty to you, call her on it.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 10:35 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • then my husband and i fight

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I've been through some of this although not my DH calling my family names. I can say with all honesty if he did that I'd tell him to go straight to hell and take his family with him. Not judging you on that one but my DH is a total pain in the ass about his crazy family and my family has been nothing but nice to him and them and still the IL's act like they should be the only relatives we and our kids have. What I ended up doing, again not judging or saying this is what you should do, was telling him I wanted to leave him. I could not take his family trying to come in between us, talking sh!t to me and about me and my family to him, his mother going so far as telling him he should divorce me which was the last straw. He agreed for a minute about going our separate ways then said he couldn't live iwhtout me and our kids and I said him and his family stopped or me and the kids were gone. No one should have to put up with that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • he must have felt attacked, my husband does the same thing if i mention any little thing to him. like "hey get your undies off the floor" he goes on and on about the clothes i leave "all over" (yeah right) and that i only do laundry once a week. i have to tell him i'm asking for some help here, i'm not attacking you, i'm telling you how i feel. he then goes on to tell me he never gets a chance to tell me how he feels (get off the damn game once in awhile and you will have some freakin time :) ya know. men are stupid sometimes

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:35 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.