Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raped by Father, blamed by Mother adult content

My dad was a cop. He molested me and my sisters. He played russian roulette with me. He beat my mom and my mom beat us. I am amazed that I don't drink or do drugs, I have a good job and wonderful kids. A great man. 12 years of therapy. To this day, my dad is in denial tho I just found out he did the same thing to his sister and my mom has said that its my fault. They are divorced. I try to be polite to everyone but the fact is, for some reason talking to my mom is so much more painful than my dad and I have no idea why. Any ideas? I seriously don't want to ever see her.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It's painful because she knew what was going on and she didn't protect you like a mother should.
    This DOES NOT take the fact that she let it happen happen, but understand that she was beaten and she beat you because that was her response to all the bad things that were happening to her. Again IT DOES NOT EXCUSE WHAT SHE DID because what she did SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.
    I am so sorry. I am glad you have a wonderful hub and kids and got therapy xoxoxo Turn around and be a shining example to others xoxoxo

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 12:04 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Some people are just toxic to you... walk away if that is what helps you sleep at night. Sometimes it really HAS to be all about you!! (((hugs)))!!


    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:03 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • You've determined to be healthy, but your mom is still sick, maybe the sickest one in this whole scenario. Anyone with a quarter brain knows you can't blame a child for being molested, but for some reason your mom can't blame your dad. Maybe it's because SHE feels guilty, and it's easier to blame you than to face the fact that she messed up or didn't see what was happening. She's projecting on you what she feels deep down inside. She's expecting you to carry her guilt, and you pull away because it's SO wrong. I don't blame you!

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:04 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I was molested by a close family friend from 12ish to 14ish (I honestly don't remember my age exactly, but I DO remember what happened). When I finally said something, I too, was blamed for letting it happen. My dad did nothing to stop that woman from verbally tearing me to shreds. He also did nothing to get me help of any kind. They're still friends and pretend nothing ever happened.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:21 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • As a mother, you will do what ever it takes to keep your children safe. You will take your kids and run, you will fight for them and maybe even kill for them. That is all part of being a mom. But your mom never protected you. She never did the things for you that you would do for your kids. It hurts because she didn't do what she was supposed to. And even worse, your mom blames you. Maybe she is jealous of the fact that your dad wanted you and not her, in her mind it makes sense. I know how hard it is to be molested (my molester is still in denial as well). Believe it or not, we can work through this. We are strong women. Good luck!!!


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:23 AM on Apr. 29, 2011