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Do you tell your kid(s) they are "bad" or they did something that they shouldn't have done and explain yourself?

Some say that when you call a kid "bad" that is telling the child that they are bad and really what you should he saying is that their behavior is incorrect and that should be corrected. You are also suppose to explain to your child what is is that they did wrong and what's expected of them next time.

So when your mad do you say "your a bad boy!!" or do you usually approach it differently?

We are all human and make "mistakes" so I get that people might say bad sometimes but I'm asking about the majority of the time.


Asked by ProudMammaMia at 2:34 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (22)
  • Occasionally whenever he does something that really frustrates me--ie attempting to knock down a fragile vase. i never mean to, rather I try to avoid words & phrases like "No" or "You're a bad boy". I don't want my young son to think there are only 2 sides: good & bad, light & dark. I want to teach & enforce that we make mistakes & that some things are not nice to do or it's not the appropriate time to do such & such.

    My parents have always tried to be positive even when being disciplinary & I definitely would like to do the same with my son.

    So far I can't tell you how successful it is considering my son isn't even yet 1 year, but considering how I turned out I hope to be just as successful.

    Answer by crystaLuv at 2:43 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • well my son is only 21 months old so there's only so much I can say that he can understand but I'm he understands... I set him on my lap and tell him what he did that was "naughty" and have him say sorry and he goes and gives that person a hug or kiss.. for instance if he hits someone. I would never say "bad" because that just seems harsh and not right. In disciplining our children it should be out of love and never out of anger and sometimes that means taking a little time out before approaching the issue : )

    Answer by ashlee03 at 2:39 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I say it, she knows why she is bad because I also give her a reason. Just like when she does something good i tell her that she was a good girl and the reasoning. it sounds like i am talking about a dog but wow... i swear people are too sensitive now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I dont say "you are bad" I say "what you are doing is bad"... nd I ALWAYS explain why what they did was wrong! I dont believe a child should ever be called bad, mean, or otherwise.... what they do might be this ot that , but they themsemves are not!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 6:47 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I have never ever told my child that she is "bad" or being bad. I tell her that her behavior is not OK & explain to her why it's not OK.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:22 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I tell her what she did wrong, what she should have or should not have done. Then she's punished accordingly. I've never really say YOUR bad. I say what you did was wrong and here is why.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 2:39 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • p.s and yes i do tell him why his behavior was incorrect

    Answer by ashlee03 at 2:41 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I accidentally said that to my oldest dd once and immediately apologized and told her that SHE isn't bad but that her behavior was not okay. However she still went around for the rest of the day saying, "I'm a bad girl. I'm bad. I'm very bad." I felt SOOOOOO bad! :-( As for the rest of the time I tell both my daughters that what she did was not okay and why. They also receives warnings or consequences depending on the situation.

    Answer by GodsAmiga at 2:58 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I try to always tell him he isnt a bad boy, but his behavior is bed. I watched a lot of super nanny when I was in HS, before I had a kid, and I liked all her techniques, and I try to use them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • when they were little i explained the good thing and bad things, as they got older and they were able to tell the difference. I would say if you choose to do something bad you are being bad and you have to deal with the consequence.

    Answer by alainalee at 5:30 AM on Apr. 29, 2011