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2 Bumps

How do i stop loving someone?

i love my son's father. he's a dick, a jackass, deadbeat... everything you can think of, he is. was abusive, on drugs, etc... he was in rehab- completed it and was doing pretty good. he did take anger management as well as a few other classes. currently back in jail (for not paying CS to DS).

i just dont know how to stop loving him, wanting him. i think of the future; 5 years from now-- and for some reason, i still want him. i still want him to be in our future-- to be the male figure in the family... even though i know- without a DOUBT that he'll be in the same position that he's in now! he'll have done nothing with his life (DS is 5- he's done nothing during that time.. his oldest kid is 6-- again, nothing in that time frame)...

i know what he did to me- and i've forgiven him. i feel that thats partially to blame. once the anger and frustration (and blame) is gone, i fall head over heals for him. its like i accept everything he did in the past.... and i'm opening myself up for the chance for it to happen again...?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • No one can answer this question. Only time and distance can make you stop loving someone.....and sometimes not even that. Sometimes you need to meet someone new, and other times you just wake up one day and you realize that the love is gone. Good luck.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 3:10 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I was in an abusive relationship for ten long years. he too went through the same steps and programs. he would be so nice for a month then right back to the way it was. Hell. Hun Once an abuser always an abuser. They will never change no matter how good they make it sound to get you back. It sonds to me like he does the honeymoon effect with you. I can tell you from experience first hand; 1st step for you is to make a list of all the things he has done to hurt you or make you sad, angrym and unhappy. then write down what he does to get you back. look at the list and ask your self if you want to keep going through this. Their will be a point where you will say no and you have to be strong and not let him back in your life. to get over him look at your list it will help you get over him. Place an order on him to not come around you.
    A522R

    Answer by A522R at 3:19 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • When you meet someone you love even more, than you will be over your past-love. But you cant go looking for it or you will continue to find all the wrong guys,,, let him come to you its crazy how it works!
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 3:47 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Ive been there... never thought I would get over my ex. Im ashamed to say it, but even when I got married (and was having trouble adjusting), I was still in love with my ex. The only thing that worked was time. It took about 3 years for me to be totally over him. On top of that, his flaws were outshining his character- hes a compulsive liar. Focus on his flaws, and give it time. In the meantime, try to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • That's a tough question.
    I guess I would say...you need to do what is best for you and your children. If you feel like he is the one (doesn't sound like it)
    make it work. But you need to give yourself every chance to make your life better!!!
    God Bless!!
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 5:46 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Get some one decent in your life and don't look back.
    MyMyOhMy

    Answer by MyMyOhMy at 9:42 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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