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2 Bumps

My Son's !!!

I have a 8, 4, and a 7 year old and dad is in prison and will be for the next 15yrs, so my question is ..... if they dont wanna go see him should i make them, or should that be a choice i should let them make. For the past yr they have always went, but for the past few weeks they always say "mommy we dont feel like it" or " mommy we dont wanna visit daddy this time". I know they are young in all but they still need to visit right? need advice on this.

I would like them to see him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I don't think you should force it. If they come to resent those visits, it won't do anything for the relationship with their father. Instead, be encouraging and play up the positives, if you can. Other than that, step back and recognize that you cannot make a relationship happen between two people - it either develops or it doesn't.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 7:49 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Why is he in prison. How does the father interact? How often?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:50 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I take them atleast 3 times a month. I wont say why he is in prison, when they are there they get to go outside and play on toys they got for kids and dads. He is great with them and they love it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:57 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • If they don't want to go, I wouldn't make them.

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Talk to them and find out why they are uncomfortable.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I would talk to them and ask why they don't want to go. I also would not force them to go as that might just build resentment and ruin the visit. Do they have any other contact with dad... like phone calls or letters? If not maybe that would be a good option instead of visits (if the kids are uncomfortable about going to prison).

    Answer by MizLee at 9:02 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yeah I wouldn't force them to go either. Like the other ladies said just talk to them and see what's going on.

    Answer by jnb71584 at 9:31 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I wouldn't make them go, but I would figure out why they didn't want to go. Maybe it's the place that they don't like?

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:48 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • yea dad writes them letters and calls and when he does they get so excited. He sends letters and drawing he has done for them on birthdays, christmas etc!!! and they use to love going, but they told me the other day that they just dont feel like going. i have talked to them and that was the only reason. I am not gonna force them, I just think seeing daddy is inportant. I didnt have a dad growing up and i feel so much hate toward him cause he walked out when i was little, i know its diffrent thier dad is in prison.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • my dad was in prison most of my life growing up. I think, as kids, we all get to a point where we realize that our dad did something to get there. I was personally angry at him for not caring enough about me to keep his butt out of jail. (that wasn't the story but it was how i FELT.) My mom didn't force us to go when we stopped wanting to, and we are all thankful for that.

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 12:44 AM on May. 1, 2011

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