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2 Bumps

Train wreck waiting to happen.

So I was talking last night to my daughters friend on facebook because I couldn't find my daughter she wasn't home before dark like I ordered. She didn't get home till 11:38 way past her time to be in. Anyways she asked me if I could keep a secret she wanted me to know some things that my daughter has told her because she is her friend and knows she needs help. She also stated that she has been in more trouble since she's met my daughter,I feel aweful that she's been in trouble and told her I was sorry. Anyways she told me that she (my daughter) was going to meet with this guy that likes to smoke pot, I was like oh shit okay,she also said that my daughter claims to have had sex and that she isn't virgin anymore,wow this is killing me by now and my heart is breaking into pieces. She also said she hates her dad a lot,which I understand not all kids love their parents her dad for the most part has zero patience and his fatherly skills are miniscule and aweful. But she still talks to him and they sometimes get along which is important. Her friend also said she thinks she needs to get counseling and any other help that we can find for her. Apparently my daughter has told her she wants help,she also said that my daughter complains because I can't trust her,well she's done a lot to break my trust,she doesn't come home when I tell her too,she smoked pot and probally still does and being sexually active. So ya I have big worries and I'm a parent not everyone is gonna know how to handle situations like this so perfectly so ya I'm gonna yell sometimes. I've talked to her about the danger of drugs,and told her about sex and how some boys can take advantage of her,and that she should never be alone with boys at all. She was alone last night with 3 boys she claims one of them was her girlfriends brother and, then she claims she doesn't like any of them in that way. She told me this morning she isn't sexually active at all. DO I just trust what she says? Do I assume she is just fibbing to her friends? Why would she tell her friends she isnt a virgin. I was gonna go see if the school could counsel with her but I don't know if they're set up for that. I have tons more I could tell you about her but it would take a story book. I wanted to add that I do take my daughter out and try to spend time with her she gets more attention than my sons and way more than them too she isnt mistreated,or physically abused. I've also noticed her grades are going downhill from use to be A's and B's to C's and D's so ya she needs intervention that I can't give her. ps she is only 13

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (43)
  • Only 13 and sexually active?! Yeah, it's time to get her to see someone asap! Get her on a healthy track as soon as you can!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • she keeps telling me she isn't. I don't know what to believe
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:59 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Well,, she could be lying about the virginity...you just never know. I told a few kids i was not a virgin, when i really was a virgin. I guess i just wanted to seem mature.

    I would take her to a gyno honestly & have them take a look. They can usually tell when a girl has become sexually active, even if the hymen has been broken already. it's not far off that she is going to be sexually active & she will need to see a gyno anyways.

    You need to keep closer tabs on her, where she is & who she is hanging out with. if she tells you she is going to a friends house, you contact the parents & make sure she is there & who else will be there. You need to talk to these other kids parents & know what is going on. You need to communicate with them EVERY time she is going any where.

    Does she have a cell phone? If so, you can install a tracking device to her cell so you'll always know where she is...cont...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:59 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • a gyno wont tell me if she is sexually active,they said it's up to her to tell me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • How does the tracking device work?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:03 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I don't believe that 13 year olds should have much privacy. I have a relative who put a tracking device on her DD's cell phone. The kids have no way of knowing their cell phone is being tracked either. She would lie about where she is & her mom would go there & get her. Her DD would be so shocked that her mother found her...but never knew she was being tracked. IT saved her DD......she learned quick that there was not much she could get away with.....

    You need to think about birth control & all of that. Some13 year olds are still too young to fully understand the consequences of sex until it's too late. You need to take action now...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:04 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • woah- only 13 and coming home at almost midnight on a school night?! yikes.

    Personally, I would get her into counseling or maybe even family counseling. Give her cosequences for not coming home when she is supposed to. As for grades- I would say it seems pretty normal for kids this age (based on my experience with my kids) but when you add the other things to it, it's definitely a problem. Maybe have her drug tested? Let her know that the reason you don't trust her is that she has broken it. That it's because of her actions and it can be earned back if she wants it.

    I think I would also try to have a very serious talk about sex, birth control, and respect as far as that goes as well as repect in general (calling when you will be late and whatnot)

    good luck- hang in there
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:05 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • ty
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I also agree with knowing her friends and where she will be and who with EVERY time she leaves.
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:09 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Its hard to tell if the friends she has are trouble.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

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