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Joint custody

I am not married and currently expecting a son in June/July. I have bought the items a baby needs to survive(crib,car seat,stroller,breast pump to name a few) My boyfriend has bought nothing and seems to have no intentions to do  so... I do not plan on living with him once my son comes but would like to give him visitation... is that wrong??? what should I do???

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prdVirgobby

Asked by prdVirgobby at 9:55 AM on Apr. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,472 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Your child your decisions. Just be safe and get it in writing through the legal system.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:08 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • He will have a legal right to visitation once the baby is born...of course, he would have to go to court to force you to give it to him, but morally, unless you think he is a danger to the baby, you should give him visitation. As for whether you should live with him.....I'm not sure if you were asking that, but only you can make that decision. Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:09 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Thanks you all!!!!
    prdVirgobby

    Comment by prdVirgobby (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Whatever you do, definately get it in writing. Don't leave anything to chance or trust.
    zradiogirl

    Answer by zradiogirl at 4:18 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • My husband (formerly boyfriend) was not engaged in the shopping until the 11th hour and then he bitched and moaned. This is a big change for your boyfriend--you might not need to write him off yet, it is possible he is overwhelmed and might just turn around. My turnaround was when I informed him that if he was not going to be an active participant than the child would have my last name. I would let him know your plans (after you document thing) and he might start waking up and smelling the baby diapers or he might turn out to be a worthless tool in which case your plan is the best thing.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 5:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Even if you don't want to deal with the father of the baby, the baby deserves to know who he is. Be thankful that they guy wants to spend time with his child. Then later on, you won't have to deal with the 'why don't I have a daddy' questions. You don't want to be the reason that your child does not have a relationship with his father. I'm not sure if you two are still dating or not, but it sounds like you are definitely better off without the guy. He may just wise up once the baby gets here. Sometimes men just need reality to show up in their faces. Good Luck.
    GabsMom1

    Answer by GabsMom1 at 10:33 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Thanks Gabsmom I'm with the guy still and he doesn't have a job now....
    prdVirgobby

    Comment by prdVirgobby (original poster) at 6:51 AM on May. 29, 2011

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