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Am I being a bad sister in-law ?

My brother in law got a new girlfriend. Well, she and I were at my husbands grandfathers visiting one day and she lost her cell phone. So I told her I'd call it to see if we could hear it. Well, grandpa asked what we were doing and she told him to shut up. Mind you, I have been a part of this family for 7 years, and she had only been around for a couple months at this point. I was very upset that she thought she had the right to talk to him that way. Unfortunately it was only us 3 and my daughter there, so now she is denying ever even saying it. I wouldnever make anything like that up. Up until that point we had been good friends and my bro in law and I got along very well and talked often. Since that has happened, he has said some really rude things to me and about me. He told my mother in law that he was going to kidnap my daughter, so I havent allowed him to be around her. Lately he has been making an effort to get along, but after the things he said to me and saying he wanted to kidnap my baby, I cannot trust him, and don't want him near us. Am I wrong for feeling this way ? Someone please give me some advice, I love my husbands family very much and think it is very important for all of them to be involved in our daughters life. I'm close with all of them except my brother in law now. What should I do ??


Asked by Mrs.Harris138 at 12:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • no your not being a bad sil. what she said was wrong and for her to lie to him about everything is wrong. I would try to keep your daughter away from them. they sound to be horrible people. I would watch them when they are around the grandfather if she would say harsh words to him then more things could happen. I would let some family members know so they could watch her. I would be upset to. I don't like anyone to be mean to the elderly or anyone else... (Hugs)

    Answer by FloridaGurl4 at 12:55 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Wow a bit much over such a simple comment. While I agree that after his comment about your daughter I would definitelybe keeping my distance, but the whole situation jsut seems a little overkill or lack of information here to me.

    Answer by aeneva at 12:44 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • No your not wrong even if he was joking it was in poor taste.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:21 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Just be civil when you have to deal with them, but keep your daughter away from them. I hate people who disrespect the elderly. And if anyone had said that about kidnapping MY daughters, I would have filed an order of protection against them so fast his head would have spun. Or I would have kicked his ass myself. You don't say shit like that!

    Answer by Kari727 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • something is missing.. you dont go from a comment of shut up to a man who cant even hear it to hes going to kidnap my baby.. sorry but if i heard her story i'm sure i'd hear more about the inbetween that lead up to that comment. and you wouldnt be as innocent as you are trying to act online.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • It seems there is part of your story missing here. She was wrong to address your DH's grandfather in such a way, but how does it go from there to your BIL's disrespectful behavior. What was said to the family in between those two thing and how was it said?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • did she say it so that g'pa could hear it? or just under her breath?? If where pops could hear it you should have atleast say HEY, thats not nice... (considering your child was there) and if he didn't hear it I would have brought it up to her between the 2 of you just saying the same thing, maybe adding that we all get frustrated at times but its better to just take a moment and walk away. Then I would have casually mentioned it to hubby.

    Answer by kkbird at 12:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Grandpa didn't hear her because he didn't have his hearing aids in, thank god. But I did address her, and she just said whatever. So I talked to my brother in law about it and she kept saying I was lying. I let it go because I didn't want the drama, I knew what it was going to lead to. All of this. She kept denying it to my bro in law and thats why he started saying the things he did because he thought I was just trying to start trouble. I wasn't though. I really really like her before all this. I thought she was a very nice person and I was happy he found her. I personally feel everything got way out of hand, but she made it that way.

    Comment by Mrs.Harris138 (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I wanted to let it all go. Just count it as a maybe-she-was-having-a-bad-day thing, but my hubby insisted on talking to his brother, to ask him to tell his girlfriend to have a little more respect. As you can see, it didn't go very well. It sucks. Because Like I said, we were all very close before and I really do miss them. I just don't know where to go from here.

    Comment by Mrs.Harris138 (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • No, you were right to say something to her. Your BIL is completely out of line in saying anything about kidnapping a child. I would stear clear of both of them, they don't sound like the kind of people I would want in my life.

    Answer by scout_mom at 12:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2011