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Did becoming a SD to your children come naturally for him?

My Dh is having a very hard time accepting my teo as his own. Im really starting to think I need to leave him. He has yet to embrace my two as his own. He says in time he will, but its nearly been a year since we have been married, ANNND we married fairly quickly after meeting.

When will he embrace my children? Yes, he goes to Doctor appointments with them, plays, buys them things, but all in all everything a father should do, but he has yet to have that loving proud feeling most men get... when will that happen?

Im not sure how much longer I can take the difference in love he shares for his two, compared to my two.. it makes me feel like such crap!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • they arent his so it may never happen. and you should not make him.. if he is otherwise invovled and kind then thats as best as most men CAN do with kids that arent really theirs. are the kids happy with him or are they feeling neglected by him? if anyone should judge in this area it should be the kids.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • they call him by his name but sometimes call him daddy, and he completely ignores them... ): He said it has no meaning behind it.. that they are just trying to get a rise outta him..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • If them calling him dad means nothing to him now, I don't think it ever will. When he took you, he took your kids also and he should be ready to take on that responsibility, not only on a financial side. It sounds like he is ok on that part, but the emotional side also. It's not fair for your kids to be treated differently because they're "not his" when if fact, when he married you, they became his.

    Answer by nmmama09 at 1:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • @nmmama- That is how I feel. He is there for him financially and what not, but the emotional side to him is just awful...

    Every holiday he is down. UNDERSTANDABLY. He gets sooo sad bc he is not around his children. As his children are states over. BUT - That doesnt mean he has to feel as though he cant have a good holiday he DOES have by his side... am I wrong for thinking this way?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • It came very naturally to my husband to accept my 3 as his own, but he didn't have any bio kids yet - I looked for a man with no kids when I was dating. We now have 2 bio kids together plus my 3, and he treats them all the same; spends the same amount of time and money on each of them, if not more on mine. He is very careful that my bio kids never see a difference between how they are treated and how their 1/2 siblings are treated. When someone asks my husband how many kids he has he tells them 5, not 2 bio and 3 step, just 5 kids. If it weren't that way, I wouldn't be married to him.

    Answer by missanc at 1:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • it came very naturally for mines, we had the talk about how I felt about my son calling him daddy. I told him it was perfectly fine with me as my sons bio. dad is not a part of his life and my son could not remember him because we separated when he was rather young. I explained to him that once he took on the role as being called dad, he had to carry himself as his dad, he was his son, he was to treat him no differently than if we were to have children. We told our families the same thing, beause I refused to have my son raised as an outcast because he was not his bio. dad. He takes him to the park to ride his bike, they play together and go out together without me, he is crazy about him as if he were his bio. dad/son. Thats how it is supposed to be. He married you he accepted your children as his own, he should treat them that way.

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 3:51 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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