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A child can't be BAD...or can they??

So I know yournot suppose to call your child bad but or anyone elses but hav you come across a child that you feel is "bad" a bug trouble maker all the time it just completely mean?

I definitely have and I hate having my child around them but I try to remember it's probably how they were taught or their environment.

There's this little boy that ALWAYS hits my dd everytime we are around him, yesterday he grabbed one of his dads tools and ran straight up to her and lifted it over his head and brought it down fast to hit my dd in her face. Her nose bled and she has a big bump now...I hate that! :( he hits her in the face, pulls her hair, slaps her to the ground and everything else and she never ever ever hits back. She's 2.5 yr old and he's yhesame age so I get that he can't understand fully what he's doing but it drives me buts and it makes me not want to be around but at the same time I don't want to consider him to be bad. Anyway why about the older kids, 5, 7, 13 yr olds? Can they be bad? You know the manipulative little girl down the street or the little boy that does bad behavior and blames it on your kid. Or the bully at the school?

What's your take?

 
ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 1:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • (cont.) this parent's other kids "turned out fine" (so it's not the parenting) doesn't make a difference or nullify the principle because Family Systems thinking points to why kids from a single family can vary widely in their ability to cope with life..a specific sibling who is "irresponsible" or a "screw up" or never seems able to get ahead, while the others graduated and do all right for themselves. Not every kid in a family is focused on (or targeted) in the same way, regardless of having the same parents. And "focus" can be negative OR positive and still be a detriment to the child--Anxiety can lead a lovingly-intended parent to focus anxiously on a child in a way that interferes with attunement (accurate understanding of the child) and leads to lots of projections ONTO the child, which the child will over time oblige to meet expectations, so there can be negative outcomes even if there is not overt and intentional abuse.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:06 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Wow, that little psycho wouldn't be allowed near my daughter again after that action! Who is disciplining him?

    I wouldn't call a child bad, but I would have no issue calling out his attitude is bad or is behaving badly.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 1:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • NO child is bad, They do make bad choices, have poor parenting, have mental illness or other disorders that cause them to be impulsive and act before thinking it through.

    As for the child that keeps hitting your child, STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Why would you keep bringing her around him knowing that he hits her whenever he sees her?
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • There is ALWAYS a reason for that behavior........environmental, mental, physical.......but by no means, I believe, is it the child's fault.....
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 1:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I think there are children that are just bad. My nephew is one of those children. He's very mean spirited and he doesn't care who he hurts. I would never leave my son unattended with him, or any other child for that matter, because I know he'd hurt them on purpose. I don't think it's necessarily a learned behavior, but definitely a product of upbringing.
    MomMom23

    Answer by MomMom23 at 2:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • At one time, I would say there are no bad children, only bad parenting. But as I grow older and actually less judgmental but more discerning, I do believe there are bad children. One tried to hit my youngest child on the head with a baseball bat. My son was 6 months old just learning to sit, the other child was four. He was jealous of the attention my son was receiving and came up quickly and suddenly and tried to bring the hard plastic bat down on my son's head with full force. I quickly shoved my head between my child's head and the bat. My middle two fingers were broken. He could have killed or severely injured my child. I have seen worse things than this. Children turning against their parents and physically abusing them, stabbing their stepparents, bullying other children until they commit suicide. Yes, there are bad kids, very bad kids.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:11 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Oh geez my questions is full of typos, sorry in advance
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • i think my brother is a bad kid. he is 14 now but molested a 3 year old girl when he was 12... he constantly steals... he punched HUGE holes in a room my mother just finished building.... he lies and cheats and swears at his teachers.... he broke my tailbone... he is def a BAD kid
    mommy06and09

    Answer by mommy06and09 at 1:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Never! People aren't bad, especially children. For every negative or difficult behavior there is a reason why it is being exhibited. Nature vs nurture? Chemical imbalances?Learned behavior? I feel that in many cases it can be the parent's reaction that holds the key to behavior change. They may be reinforcing a negative behavior and not even realize it!
    PaCsSupermom

    Answer by PaCsSupermom at 1:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I don't ever call a child BAD- they have bad behavior and bad attitudes, but I thoroughly believe that children themselves are never BAD. I never call my kids bad, and I stop anyone who says 'You're a bad boy for doing x, y or z.' and I make sure to tell them that the ACTIONS are bad, not the child. That drives me NUTS!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:44 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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