Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

So i am thinking they have the wrong idea about marriage ...

A friend asked me what is the secret to a great marriage since my husband and I seem to have such a good one... my reply was " putting up with each other " ... she didnt think it was funny and wanted to know things like who gets to chose what restraunt to go to and other little things that her and her fiance argue about constantly...

So I said it is just basically that we dont let little things bother us, we actually do have many annoying things about ourselves and we put up with them, and we have a set goal that we would never want our kids to have a split family....

i think she was expecting and answer like he gets me roses every week and we have date nights every other night, etc .... is there people out there who really do that stuff ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Our biggest thing is communication and compromise. We don't agree on every little thing and he doesn't buy me flowers all the time. We haven't had a 'date' since I don't know when(lol) and we're still ok! I think we have a very good marriage, but of course it's not without disagreements or arguments. You really can't avoid those if you live in the same house day in and day out.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:38 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • not if you have children lol but you shouldn't feel the need for all that either. my husband often comes home with my favorite foods or little things I like that he gets on his way from work and that means more to me because he pays attention to my likes and knows me. hell, I have a 4month old and I'm happy if he watches him long enough for mommy to have a nice bath time to herself from time to time

    Answer by -lovingliam- at 1:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Surprisingly yes, and honestly what works for one isn't necessarily right for someone else. My husband and I get a long the way we do because we have open communication, sure we have our problems, but we don't fight, we don't raise our voices at each other, and we don't argue. We sit down and talk about it, even if it does take a couple days to calm down enough to say something.... My dad would stop along side the road and pick my mom wildflowers at least once a week, he would make sure that he helped with dishes every night, but they still had issues...those little things didn't make the marriage work....

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 1:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Friends of mine have told me that my husband and I have a great marriage...And it's just like you said, we get on each others nerves all the time, we just dont fight about it. I mean we have fights just not over the little things and when we do fight we do our best to try to understand the other persons perspective and talk about it. we take as much time as we can to relax together and go out kid free but it doesnt happen often. Dh hardly ever buys me things... hes even forgotten cards on birthdays and holidays ( which i throw in his face every chance i get) but thats another aspect of our relationship people dont understand, to people looking in it seems like were always fighting and picking on each other, and sometimes we are but we both know its all in good fun and its like our way of flirting.

    Answer by Finkette at 1:48 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • My SO surprises me sometimes as do I him. But honestly our relationship is 100% better now that we've started communicating. We both have busy lives and he travels for work ALOT!! It isn't about flowers and chocolates, it's about the bond you share and compromising.


    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yes there are people out there who really do that stuff. My husband and I do that stuff, but it isnt planned or anything like that. I think the main thing for a truly happy marriage is not just putting up with things, it is being truly compatible. We dont argue about where to eat because we like the same foods. We dont argue about movies because we like the same movies. I think if you are with someone and you argue about things then it is too much work. Love and a healthy relationship should not be that hard. Yes they take work, but they should not be a constant battle. If they are, your are with the wrong person. That is what I would have told your friend.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:52 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I think all of the pp had good points. Acceptance of each other is also good. I accept that we won't always agree, that he has different views, etc. I don't like arguing. He likes arguing. (He might disagree.. haha!) There are ways to get along with everyone, not just your mate. I have always believed this verse. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We fail but nothing like the present to try to do it right.

    Answer by Autumn07 at 2:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I believe I am in a good relationship because I don't feel tied down. We accept eachothers imperfections, and we don't really "put up" with eachother. We just sort of accept it.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Communication and understanding. Don't sweat the small stuff and listen to one an other. Flowers grow outside anwhats date night? Haha

    Answer by EJKZ at 2:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • haha, i laughed when i read "putting up with each other", it's so true!! i think you have a great view on marriage- and i think there are some women who still fantasize about a doting husband who cooks, brings flowers, etc...personally- i'd rather be with the realities of sometimes it's great, and sometimes it's not, but in the end it's always worth it!!

    Answer by lexi8622 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.