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4 Bumps

Would you want to let BM have the kids a day early?

BM asked DH if she could have the kids Sunday morning because she wanted to take them to the zoo. He did get them early but only because she had to work. I was actually mad we got them Sat morning because I had a lot of school work to do and I had to keep them because he was at work all night. He only said he would take them to church for Easter if she had to work, and it turned into getting them Sat morning because she "had to run errands." Anyways, we are going camping Sat night and I really don't want to worry about getting back in the morning to take her the kids.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • He got them early, regardless of the reason. So yes she should get them back early if she wants it.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Don't fight over the kids. If she wants them back, give them back. Those poor children!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Its not always easy when dealing with two seperate households. Its all about give and take and compromise. It might have sucked for you but maybe when the time comes that you guys need BM to bend a little..she will because you have helped her out in the past. Thats the way I look at it. Good Luck.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:57 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, that's between him and her. It's not really up to you. That's part of being in a relationship that has an ex and kids. The kids are going to feel like a burden if people start fighting about that type of stuff.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:58 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • It doesn't do anyone any good to argue over something like this. My son's father and I have joint custody and we work together to make sure our son is happy and sees both of as much as possible. And if he gets him early, he comes back to me early and vice versa. I know you're going camping, but come back early. It's best for everyone to get along.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 1:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I'm sorry honey that it sucked for you but honestly it isn't about you, it's about the kids.... so no matter how much something sucks, think about the kids and what is best for them.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Ya'll did her a favor, but that doesn't mean you have to change your plans b/c she wants something. Ya'll are planning something fun with the kids, you should do it. And you were mad b/c you HAD to keep them? I may be taking this completely wrong, but I think it should be you "get" to get them a day early, not you were forced. You guys only get them weekends? I would love to have extra time with my step-son!

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:00 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yes I was kind of mad because I had 2 papers and a test to study for and now I would have no time to do it because I had to keep the kids. I love having them don't get me wrong. It was just a bad time.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:05 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • This is how compromises work when parents are divorced. Look at it this way, if he had them all the time, which would be totally awesome, they would have been there when you were studying anyway.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:08 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I would just simply tell the BM that you all have had these plans and as soon as you finish up that morning and head back you will gladly drop them off to her. But dont stress yourself out about it. There will be other oppertunity for her and you all to have this happen again with the timing. Like her having to run errands... thats her deal, why couldntt she have taken the kids too??? ya know. its a give and take kind of thing but out of respect... not demand.

    Answer by kkbird at 2:35 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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