Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Where do I go from here?

I recently broke up with my fiance. We have known each other for many years and were together for 8 months. We have no contact at the moment due to a temporary order. But I am just having an extremely hard time getting through this... Does anybody have an advice for me?

Answer Question

Asked by julzg11 at 2:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Depends on what the temp. order is for, Hun. Just keep trying to remind yourself why you broke up with him & have faith in your decision. Trust yourself is what it boils down to. It takes awhile to recover from a break up. Keep busy and do anything possible to keep your mind off of him. K ? Good Luck, Hun. I'm here if you need to talk. take care

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 2:56 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Tell yourself several times a day that it is better to be with no man than it is to be with the wrong man. Say it out loud until your heart believes it. Once you are past the first few days, start making a list of all the things you want in a man and then when you are ready to see someone new, make sure he has most if not all those traits. Character is the most important trait to look for.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:00 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • "time heals all wounds", as they's corny, but true. and there's seems to be some loop holes here, like who is the order against, and for what? also, engaged within eight months of dating?? if he was abusive in any way, than i say good riddens and remember that even if there were good times, the bad was enough to leave-- and move on. surround yourself with positive people, and make sure to stay busy- that always helps. it's tough, but stay strong and good luck!

    Answer by lexi8622 at 3:01 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • We dated years ago and got back together. Within the 8 months of dating we got engaged. I do tell myself that the good times weren't worth all of the bad because there were more bad towards the end. So I am trying to stay strong about it.

    Comment by julzg11 (original poster) at 3:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Why a temporary order, did he do something to you? not trying to be nosy, but if you're gonna post in here , you should write a little more info. If he beat you or attacked you, then please move on with your life, in my opinion abusers never change. It will be hard, I hope you have family and friends you can rely on, I've been separated for 3 years divorced for 1 year, it was hard at the beginning for me too, but honestly I do not regret my decision, good luck.

    Answer by cholita1978 at 3:08 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • It was a domestic violence situation so I called the police and he was arrested. I'm trying to put my best foot forward and do the best that I can. Some days are terrible. And others I think of him and don't even care.

    Comment by julzg11 (original poster) at 3:11 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • u got any children with him???? and with this temp.... have ya'll been talking anyways??

    Answer by kkbird at 3:12 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • i dated a man for eight years- got married, and THEN he became when i left, it was like leaving a huge chunk of my life-- even though he had tried to kill me, it was still hard- crazy as that sounds. so if any abuse was involved, PLEASE realize leaving was/is the best thing you can do, and things WILL get better!!! it's years later, and i never in my life thought i'd be as happy as i am now, so good luck to you and remember, anything is possible..

    Answer by lexi8622 at 3:12 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • The thing is, I am pretty sure that I am pregnant with his child. I am late on my period but I'm not going to freak out unless it doesn't come within the next 2 days. And no, we haven't had any contact, as hard as it is. I just keep thinking that if he would get help he might change. But I know that it wont happen. So that part makes me feel better knowing that what happened wasn't caused by me but by his own personal issues.

    Comment by julzg11 (original poster) at 3:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • keep your mind on your money and money on your mind

    Answer by Liz4Life at 3:17 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.