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If your friend and her family were being evicted from thier home...

and you secretly raised enough money for them to be able to get into a new place and put it in thier mail box would it make you upset if she told you they used half the money to give to thier landlord to stay where they were currently being evicted from and then bragged about buying herself $100 Easter dress,then every couple days you seen on her FB she was out eating with the family and friends,then they were planning a trip this weekend to take the kids to an amusement park?
I've been biting my tongue but really this all is really ticking me off.
What would you do if you had been the secret giver off this money?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I probably be pretty upset too. I would hope she would spend the money on things that she needed not what she just wanted.
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 3:35 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Me personally.

    It would not bother me, nor would I ever say that I was the one who gave the money. If I gave that money out of friendship, caring..etc.. Then what they do with the money is up to them. When I give something to someone, it is their's to do as they please with. If they chose to blow the money willy nilly, then they are the ones who are going to have to live with the possible repercussions of that, not me. Wouldn't matter to me, I did my part, I gave to someone in need with the best of intentions. What they do with what was given, especially since they wouldn't even know that it was me who did the giving, is all on them. They have to live with their choice, and I have to live with mine..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • it sounds like you got duped. I have to say that you are a angel for doing this tho. But it was also a good learning experience too i am guessing. But the one person who really matters in this already saw what you did and will remember this! Don't let it get you down. You did a wonderful thing. Wish there was more people like you out there.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 3:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I learned long ago never gift cash.

    PAY their light bill

    PAY for a gift card to the local grocery store

    PAY the landlord enough to keep them around for another month
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:42 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I would consider it a lesson learned. I have a friend who would do the exact same thing. That is why when she says she has "no money" for groceries, I won't just give her money anymore I actually go and get a few healthy groceries and give to her so I know she is at least feeding her 4 kids. She complains all the time about not having money, yet she has manicured nails, gets pedicures, buys her pets all sorts of stuff like doggie clothes, nice collars, etc, she takes her kids to the movies at least once a month, and she just spent $1800 on new tires for her Suburban cos she had to have "the best" then a week later came over telling me how they can't afford stuff. I would just bite your tongue, but when she gets in trouble again, don't feel bad for her. If they get evicted,offer to have her kids stay with you til they find a new place, but don't give her more money.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Did you leave a note with what the money was for?

    Like hibbing says don't give cash. You can never be sure it's being used for what you want it to be used for.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • You did a very nice thing. But once you left the money the control went out of your hands. The way she spent the money is not up to you and never was. She secured housing for herself and family. Maybe she exaggerated the amount she needed and saw the extra as windfall to do with as she pleased. And those habits may be why she ended up on the verge of eviction to start.

    I lent a friend some money because she and her DH were in serious trouble. Promises of "I'll pay you back…" In 8 years not a dime and I see the shopping, etc… Now she is divorced and with someone else and they have no money to get married. Oh well, I would love to help but um, no. and that is what you will do if she gets into trouble again.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 3:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Nothing you can do at this point. Like others have said next time (and that would be a very big IF) a bag of groceries and an offer to keep the kids while they looked for another place.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I would have paid the landlord.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:56 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • wow... how cool of u!!!! awesome!!!

    but I would DEF be pissed!!!

    when they get in this situation again just remind her of the fact that YOU have no money to help her. and that she could have used that money for things to get caught up with not waste it on herself and activities. And keeping the kids w/o her or hubby staying??? i dont see that as being an offer. They'd stay too and or you would be stuck adding more on your plate.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 4:02 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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