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2 Bumps

Do you ever feel unappreciated...?

Before I vent about this, don't get me wrong. I love being a SAHM, being home for the kids to help with homework, hear about their day, their friends, etc. BUT, would it kill my husband to make a positive comment every now and then about how nice the house looks when I've spent all day cleaning, etc???

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momof3gremlins

Asked by momof3gremlins at 3:49 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (177 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'm a single mom. Every Friday night I toast a glass of wine to myself and have my very own dance party in my underwear.
    SleepyCupcake

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 3:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I did and now I am single.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:52 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Guys expect you to have a clean house. They think it's your job. If you worked in an office would your boss or co workers come in and say how great your work is? Not usually. I do understand not being appreciated though. I just had it out with SO about not appreciating me in general and told him changes will be made or I'm gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Everybody feels unappreciated at times. Just wondering if you ever compliment hubby on the things he does? If you don't, he probably feels the same way you do.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I can only speak for myself.

    No, I never feel unappreciated. My husband does his utmost best to show me/tell me how much he appreciates me and all I do every day.

    It was not always that way. Many years ago, neither of us showed the other how much we appreciated each other and all we did for each other/our family/our home. We were both to busy and caught up in wanting strokes/appreciation/respect that we didn't see what the other person was actually bringing to the table. We focused so much on what we felt we weren't getting, that we completely neglected giving. That way of being, that way of treating and viewing one another, was one of the contributers in the downward spiral that destroyed our marriage at one point and time.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I feel unappreciated some of the time, but I have NEVER spent all day cleaning unless we have gotten down and dirty together and done Spring cleaning types of things. If he is gone (he works from home) and comes back to a clean house he makes a comment on how nice it looks. Right now I do about 75% of the cleaning and almost none of the cooking b/c I work 4-5 nights a week.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 3:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I'm sure everyone feels unappreciated sometimes, even your DH. I've found that when I thank my DH for working hard all week and busting his ass for us, he is more likely to reciprocate :) If you do this and he still doesn't notice, stop cleaning house and washing laundry for a few days, and he'll notice then! lol
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 3:57 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Same situation. Im a SAHM now because I'm on leave from work, expecting my second child soon. I get up and take care of my son and his untrained dog that he refuses to get rid of. I clean carpet stains from where his dog has had 'accidents' mop, cook, all of that, by the time he gets home at 11am. And all he does is mess up the perfectly made bed, go behind me in the kitchen and make a mess, thinking nothing to clean it up. And you know what I do....I LEAVE IT. If you feel unappreciated, stop doing it and when he says something about the house not being a certain way bring up your feelings to him. Tell him how you wait all day for him to get home and all he does is role over and go to sleep (I'm just throwing something out there lol) The key to a good relationship is communication. Push come to shove find a PT job if possible. It'll do wonders.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 3:58 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • My SO is a workaholic and I just see him 1 a week if I'm lucky. He was really hard to get ahold so I put my foot down and told him that I needed attention too, that I needed to feel appreciated also. Now he is always there contacting me and I love it! Just communicatte with him.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • i agree. communicate. to him, he might be showing his appreciation by going to work... thinking thats all you want/need, when in fact, you just need verbal praise or something like that.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 4:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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