Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you have a custody agreement

When your child got older did he/she wanted to change it? For example more time with dad/mom? Or he/she wanted to live with? And at what age they did make that decision? also did the judge grant it?


Asked by booger14 at 5:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,021 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Even though at age 12 kids have some say, the judge does keep in mind that they may still be influenced by parents and other adults, and that the child isn't yet mature enough to make their own decision. A 12 year old may want to spend more time with the parent who has the most lenient rules, or lets them eat the most junk food....or isn't home enough to supervise. So although a judge will listen to what a child wants, they will make their own determination of whats best for the child, and they try to make sure that the child spends a reasonable amount with both parents in order to foster a good relationship.

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Technically they can testify at 12 and ask a judge for what they want, but they dont always get it. I had custody of my oldest 3 and when they got to be around 13 they started deciding on what they wanted out of their dad, time, phone calls etc. My 11 yr old lived with me until he was 8, now lives with dad, and wants to come back. We are considering it since he is almost 12 and we figure old enough to make some choices for himself.
    Really my best advice is to sit down like grown ups and take into account what is truly best for the child. Talk with the child. Ask what they want and why.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:19 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Ours changed when our son became school-aged. It was too much trying to shuffle him around during the week so we settled on me having him the school week then my ex gets him from after school Friday until before school Monday. During the summer, although it's not in the agreement, we alternate entire weeks with our son. Our son loves that he gets to see us both so much.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:26 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • In ALL states, the child has a say so between the ages of 12-15 depending on the state. If neither parent poses a threat and both are capable of providing for the child, generally they weigh heavily the child's wishes.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:18 PM on Apr. 29, 2011