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New baby hard on a marriage?

Along with shopping for sippy cups and strollers, expectant parents may want to consider another task for their to-do list: honing their marriage skills.

Numerous studies have shown that a couples' satisfaction with their marriage takes a nose dive after the first child is born. Sleepless nights and fights over whose turn it is to change diapers can leach the fun out of a relationship.

Now, a growing number of mental-health professionals are advising couples to undergo pre-baby counseling to hash out marital minefields such as divvying up baby-related responsibilities, money issues and expectations for sex and social lives. A growing number of hospitals, midwives and doulas (birth coaches who provide physical and emotional support) are teaching relationship skills alongside childbirth education classes.

About two-thirds of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth of a child, according to data from the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, a nonprofit organization focused on strengthening families. Conflict increases and, with little time for adult conversation and sex, emotional distance can develop.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704099704576288954011675900.html

 
tasches

Asked by tasches at 7:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 48 (298,202 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • This wasn't true in our marriage. In fact, I think the opposite was true. Each child drew us closer together.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:19 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Well, I find it extremely true! It's a true test of any marriage as far as I am concerned. It's a make it or break it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I do agree that the 1st few months after my dd was born, was difficult. My dh  I did tend to snap at each other much more during that time. I think it was because we were both so exhausted. But now she is 16 months old and everything is fine.

    cherylw993

    Answer by cherylw993 at 7:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • It also depends on how long you were together before your kid/s are born... Newlyweds are still adjusting to each other and might be affected more than folks who've been together for years before baby makes an appearance...
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 8:34 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I think its an awesome idea! Along with pre-marital counseling, it can be a great asset to help the couple understand how hard its going to be before it happens.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 8:56 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • My 1st child was a piece of cake i had a c section and was out of it for so dh bonded so much with our dd he loved getting up baths dipars feeding lol. now my second one i had postpartum and i was crazy but he was amazing again it made me love him a million times more. what we have a problem with is discipline they are 6 and 3 and hes a softy and they know hes a push over im mean mommy dont ask me ask daddy and it gets me upset.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 9:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, my hubby was all about having a baby until she was born. After he threw her I left the bastard and moved out of state.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 7:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • then maybe they should have thought about that before having kids. condoms, pills etc. Even without children or with children its hard enough to keep things fresh and exciting... its a partnership and thats the basic.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 7:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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