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How did you overcome the hurt from your Husband cheating. adult content

Im trying to stay. Im trying to get over the fact that his cheating made me loose my best friend and job. I love him so much but yet I can't get over it. I had him change his number and stop talking to her. For some reason though I still feel like something is going on behind my back. Which there was to begin with. He made me feel as if I was crazy stupid bipolar everytime I asked him about it between them two. Would never tell me the truth. Then one day we were over at her house and she wanted some alcohol so I stayed there with our two children and her child while they went and got alcohol. Her phone rang she had left it there and I was going to let that person kno she would be back in a few and I decided to snoop ( I kno it was wrong but I hateing feeling like something was going on and he wouldnt tell me) in her phone and found where they had been talking. As far as my heart would let me read they had an affair for over a month. I called him told him to get his ass back to her house and then we all argued I finally got the keys from him and me and the kids left. I stayed at my moms for about a week and that whole week he was fucking her and then to be civil me him and the kids went bowling. That night we talked forever and he told me nothing happend with her(found out differently the next day). So I spend the night we make love and the next day I call her cause she wouldnt stop calling him or txting him and told her to stop she hung up in my face then called back like 10 mins later and told me everything and all he could say is I didnt want to ruin last night. he kept yelling that he is done with me and now he is done with her because he cant trust her or watever. Sry so long I needed to vent. Mainly want to get over this and move on

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jthomas060388

Asked by jthomas060388 at 9:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • To recover from something like this when dating it took a lot of time, and a lot of patience for him, and a lot of work through insecurities for me, and a long time of wondering if I was doing the right thing. We are happily married now, but occassionally (especially while pregnant currently) I wonder if I did the right thing and I hope it never happens again. I would recommend marriage counseling for both of you, and he needs to be more patient and make sure he doesn't make you feel crazy and suspicious like he did before. Also if you want this over so badly you don't know if you have the patience to stick it out, maybe getting counseling on your own to work out and help you define who you are and what you want. Good luck, what a sucky situation, hugs!
    LoveBuggsMommie

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 9:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I'm more into the one strike you're out, than three strikes. I move on because life is too short to deal with a man who can't keep his zipper zipped.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 10:02 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • You can say you recover as much as you want, but the hurt will always be in your heart. You will always think about it, wonder if he is doing it again, or even who he is doing it again with. You will question everything he does, everywhere he goes, etc. To me, it's not worth the pain and suffering of spending your life like that. I am entitled to a worry free, happy, fair, justified life... It never goes away.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Time to rebuild trust. However, if he isn't willing to change his behavior, then nothing will make it better.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 10:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, it never goes away. I forgave my hubby, then he did it again and again and then I left. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:07 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • alot of hard work and patience on BOTH sides - otherwise, it will never work. Hugs!!!!
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 10:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • he sounds like a compulsive liar. your mind will never be at ease. have you ever wondered if he fucked her with a rubber every single time???? i bet if u ask him he will say yes.. how will you know that he always protected himself ? if he lied about the affair he will lie about other stuff. i don't know about u, but cheating is the ultimate betrayal in my book. i can't live my life always wondering what he is up to when he is not with me. life is too short to worry like this. the insecurities that it causes in the long run is a whole different issue that u HAVE to deal with for many years to come. not worth it in my opinion.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 10:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Forgiving is easy, forgetting is almost impossible! :(

    My best friend and hubby left me alone and went out bar hopping one night and ended up making out and rubbing up on eah other, no sex but it still killed me! The next day when I brought up that I wanted to talk about he informed me that he was leaving because his eyes were opened and he sees that there is fun to be had outside of only being a dad and hubby. So he left and I forgave them both but the pain hasn't even EASED up yet and it's been almost 3 years! So all I can say is that no matter what he is your love and the father of your children and the betrayal will always be there. Not to mention that trusting any of your friends is going to be very hard from now on :( SORRY
    teardrop_7060

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 10:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I didn't. I divorced him, moved on, and am now re-married. I wouldn't even try to stick around for someone if he said he was "done with me". Seriously. Done with me? Fine, fuck you, get out of my life. You have to realize that HE is the one at fault, HE needs to be the one GROVELLING and trying to make things work. If he can't show sincere regret and desire to do whatever it takes to fix things, leave him. It's not worth it. Yeah, it's hard with kids - but you don't need to teach your kids that that kind of behavior is acceptable, either, by just staying and dealing with it.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 10:38 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • You can't. You will always remember the pain and the distrust will always be there.. I would get rid of the low life and never talk to the "friend" again.
    HollyBoBolly

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 11:06 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

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