Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Irrational Thoughts

I am getting married to my man next month. He has an ex-wife that he has no kids with, and they are friends. It doesn't bother me too much because I know he doesn't cheat on me and every time they have contact he tells me. I was pissed when she sent him an email telling him she wanted him back but he showed me the e-mail and reassured me it wasn't gonna happen. So anyway, my mom says its not normal for someone to be friends with their ex and has me all freaking upset. I hate my ex but I know that not all divorces end up in total crap. What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Apr. 29, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • some ex's can just be friends. if they are just that, then I see nothing wrong with it. and at least he's showing you the conversations that they have. I wouldn't worry unless he gives you a reason to worry.

    Answer by febmom007 at 10:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I think it would be okay to remain friends with her IF they were mutually happy to be divorced. It sounds like she still wants him, and I think it's disrespectful for him to be around her when she clearly wants to be with him (regardless of how he responded to her). If it were me, I'd tell him that it was time they went their separate ways. I wouldn't want someone disrespecting me by e-mailing my fiance and trying to get back with him.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • IMO. Exes will never be friends.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • My mom and dad were best friends after they divorced. He came over and had beers with her once a week and talked like they never broke up BUT there was NOTHING going on between them. They were better as friends than as lovers. Also I dont ever want to be divorced but right now I am seperated and I am still keeping my husband as close as I can and if it leads to divorce I know we will be friends too. If he always gives you full disclosure and doesn't hide anything, I wouldn't worry )

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 10:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I think by him showing you that email, he gave you a reason to trust that it would be okay. I am friends with a few of my exes and a couple have begged for me to go back, but I am happy and content where I am. I did tell them we wouldn't be able to be friends anymore if they kept it up and it has stopped. Maybe he should try that ? If she keeps insisting, it's probably time to cut ties with her. Good luck, I hope she starts showing you a little more respect :)

    Answer by Mrs.Harris138 at 10:34 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I am friends with my ex's and so is my dh with his. Niether of us go OUT OF OUR WAY to have contact. Neither of us were married before and we didn't have kids with our ex's either.

    If he saw them on a regular basis, yes, it would bother me.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • Well he doesn't see her on a regular basis-they talk maybe once every 2 weeks.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I've asked him to like, quit contact but he says no, that they are just friends and I have nothing to worry about. She left him first, then he and I hooked up, she saw that he was with me so she filed for divorce.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • There is no reason for them to be friends. No good can come of this friendship. Especially for you. And louise2 is right. Exes will never be friends.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 10:57 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • I totally agree w/HollyBoBolly.

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 11:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2011