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Feeling very upset, I need to talk please..Vent (long) :(

I'm confused, frustrated, annoyed and don't know what to do or feel really. So here's the short version, if possible...Throughout my pregnancy I had the worst morning sickness, had my dd 5 wks early, then months later I got the shingles, a few months after that my dd nearly choked to death and I was extremely traumatized from that experience. I was the only one with her while choking and she bled from the throat from choking badly. Anywho after this I started to have symptoms and I have been searching for what it could be. Ive been to doctors and they hve run test, he came to the conclusion that i might have RA, lupus, cancer or some tyoe of autoimmune disease and need to see a rheumotologist. Recently I have come across a condition called fibromyalgia and I believe that to be exactly what I have been dealing with, th symptoms are dead on. I also have been dealing with IBS since a teen and have excruciating pain and also dealing with those symptoms. I am going to specialist to find a diagnoses in a few weeks, but I'm so upset with how people attitudes have been towards it. At the beginning of my fibromyalgia symptoms my SO would say maybe it's just in my head and I had to keep telling him no it's not. Now that I might have a diagnoses he seems to be pessimistic about it. My mother is too! It's like no it's not in my head! Don't make me feel bad that I feel bad sometimes because if it's not the IBS it's the FM symptoms or both! I feel symptoms almost everyday and most if the time they are very uncomfortable but I only actually voice a complaint if it's painful or debilitating in some way. My SO has gotten better about understanding buy it's frustrating to know that when we do talk about it I know he Tunis it's something that can just be "sucked up" and that you just yo on with life. Buy sometimes its so hard and I just can't get up and go on with my day when I'm having symptoms. He makes me feel indirectly that I'm just being a big baby but yet I almost never bring up how I feel. Its so frustrating to hear the people that are suppose to be supportive don't get it and think maybe it's just stress so just stop stressing about maybe whatever...but it's not it!! I'm fine and not sad or stressed about anything and i still get symptoms daily! I just someone to understand me for once and not dismiss my pain or my discomfort!!! I don't tell anyone about my symptoms unless they are really close to me but it's frustrating to know they don't get it! It's not there fault I guess but why do I have to feel bad because I want to actually find out what's wrong, and racking up medical bills from it; why do I have to feel bad that sometimes I just feel horrible and to dizzy to even stand? Why do I feel so guilty for voicing that I can't get outta bed because my body won't let me today? I feel like the people that do know just want me to suck it up but sometimes that's not possible and when it is possible that's all I do! I'm a sahm I don't get a damn day off! I'm alway working even if I feel like shit! Ugh I'm sorry I'm so frustrated and upset. Soo misunderstood...

 
ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 2:06 AM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Health

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sorry you are going throiugh this, I ave a similar story as well, since about the age of 21 my body has experienced daily pain all over from my knees to my shoulders & my lower back, due to having no health insurance well there is really not much I can do about it.I am now 28 & when I ad my kids I id mention it to the Dr& they stated that it was because i would carry the car seat or my kids.Like you I would get upset because i know my body& it wasnt because of that, now at my job I do lots of walking & bening down& just standing in general& my body still aches like hell.It just gets me so upset that my co workers look at me as if nothing is wrong w/me.I even had a co worker tell me once that maybe I had the disorder where I think everything is wrong w/me. I hate it because I feel like if no one understands the pain I go through.As of now because lack of insurance i really cant do much about it but take my Aleve.
    gabby06

    Answer by gabby06 at 2:56 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • hugs mama
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 2:08 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • *big hugs* I hope you find help and suport. I'm pretty sure there's a fibromyalgia support group here on CafeMom, if you look around.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:13 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • This is a good time to read your bible. May God Bless you.
    soldiergirl7

    Answer by soldiergirl7 at 2:44 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I'm so sorry mama.... we are always here!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 3:03 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Thanks for the hugs mamas, I needed it :)

    Gabby thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you to are dismissed and misunderstood. It's really snobby to say get over it or your fine but it's not that easy. Theres days where I'm soo dizzy I can't even get up but yet I am told somehow I shoul suck it up, HOW?? How do you suck it up if you can't even catch your footing to walk?! People amaze me with their comments! I'm sorry you haven't been able to diagnose or get treatment. Is there anyway you can get insurance? I hope that yOu find comfort soon from your pain and understanding from a friend but I can be your support as well. We relate and I am more than willing to help you. We can be here for eachother :)
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 3:05 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Hugs and prayers!
    comfycouch

    Answer by comfycouch at 3:17 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • hugs
    asil

    Answer by asil at 10:35 AM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Hugs honey. They don't understand that what you have is a medical condition. It is not something you can "suck up" or be "strong" about. FM is a very real wide spread pain condition that is really painful. It can be controled with medication for the most part(though not 100% of the time). Have you looked into or been prescribed anyhing? It is not something you need to "toughen up" for. It is a medical condition that needs treatment. Hugs Mama.
    elijahsmama09

    Answer by elijahsmama09 at 3:30 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • i feel you i had to deal with some hard time with my own health. i have to mainly watch what i eat and more excercise. about fm my mother was recently diagnosed with it and she didn't want to take the meds but ended the meds do help her. with our personalities and smiles on our face ppl think nothings wrong so i feel you.
    dtMOM09

    Answer by dtMOM09 at 7:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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