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3 Bumps

Am I too harsh??? UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 3 and 5 year old got grounded for 1 week from walking a block without an adult(grounded from outside time at home). well during that week the 5 year old refused to listen to a word i asked her to do and hitting her sister and throwing fits, then we had to go to my moms storm shelter cuz of the storms and my mom lets them get away with anything so she thinks that when she gets home and starts acting like that at home so I grounded the 5 year old for another week (grounded from tv time). Well this morning all i asked the 5 year old and 3 year old to do was clean their rooms, the 3 year old did so and the 5 year old finally did that much; i then asked the 5 year old to ccome help me put up their clothes and she starting throwing her fits and screaming and yelling and saying she cant do it but i know she can do it. (i grounded her for 1 more week from going anywhere fun). She only acts like this when she comes back from seeing my mother. I can not deal with this anymore. Her grounding lifts on May 14th, the day we leave for vacation. I have no clue what to do with this child. I have tried proper timeouts,spankings,grounding,talking. I am to the point to not letting my mom see them.


Today I hear the girls in there playing and i hear Emily say " im drinking a beer". of course my jaw dropped. I called her in there were i was and asked her what she just said and of course she told me. I explained to her that was not very nice or a good thing to do or talk about. i asked her where she learned it and she said "mamaw" which is my mom. The i heard the youngest say it also so i had the talk with her. I sooooo freaking mad right now

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Asked by cnetlady at 12:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (29 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I dont know... I just cant believe you got your 3 year old to clean there room. LOL Mine would never do it. HAHA

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • My grandma thought that my kid crapped roses and did no wrong. She fed her candy for breakfast etc. My kid knew better than to pull that crap with me. I wouldn't ground your kids for more than a week, they are too young. My kid would have to sweep floors, brush the cats, write letters of apology, garden, etc.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • no u are not too harsh. you sacrifice for these kids so you deserve their respect. they need to do their chores and the 5 year old is very disrespectful for yelling at you. this yelling wouldn't fly with me. you need to have a talk with your mom and set her straight. she needs to uphold your rules with YOUR kids. they are YOUR kids and she needs to respect your wishes on how you raise your kids. she had her turn when she was raising u, so she needs to let you be a mom. you need to set these kids straight now before they turn into teenagers with that attitude.

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:09 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I think the week long groundings are too much. By the time that week is up, they've most likely forgotten exactly what happened that got them in trouble in the first place. My DD is 9 & i don't do weekly groundings yet for such things.

    I would take TV away for just one day, and tell her that tomorrow she has another chance to clean her room. If she can clean her room tomorrow, then maybe she can get the TV privileges back. You have to allow her to choose & let her realize that certain choices have consequences. The week long groundings are not really teaching her how her choices can have consequences, because by the time the week is up....they're onto something totally different. Let her choose daily.

    For walking a block down the street, i would have done 2 days with no outside.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:09 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Try explaining to your Mom what is going on and see if you two can find some common ground with rules between the two houses. Oddly enough it almost sounds like a divorced parents kinda thing here and I would treat it the same. She needs rules at both houses and the fits will be less.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:09 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I think the lengths of time is a bit long at that age, and I'm a pretty strict parent.

    Plus, I really don't mean this in a bad way, but I wouldn't have grounded them for walking a block without an adult, because honestly, at 3 and 5, they shouldn't be outside without supervision - even in safe areas - because you never know what sort of crazy pervert is going to happen to drive by...

    However, I do agree that at that age, they can help clean their rooms and put things away, and that you shouldn't let them get away with acting up and not listening to you.

    I would re-think the time length though, because at this age, it could backfire, where, whether she can consciously process it or not, she could end up with the attitude of "well, no matter what, I'm in trouble all the time, so..." Sort of like, say, grounding a teenager for 6 months for being 30 minutes late from curfew... yes, punish them, but not too long...

    gl :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • We have a fenced in back yard the fence is a privacy fence and no one can see in or out. they pushed open the gate and went to thier great grandmas. i told them to stay in the backyard, if they needed water to come in and get it. My mother didnt raise me so she has no clue how to be a parent anyways. I know I only have 1 mother but i cant deal with her crap anymore either. shes constantly drinking and her beer is top priority on her list of things. I called yesterday to get her to get the kids cuz i was stuck on a job longer than expected, she made her excuses and i said nevermind i will wake my husband up and he will do it. i dont like grounding her that long but I dont know what else to do. she throws a fit when i ask her to sweep,load dishwasher,load washer,clean room,put up clothes,take out trash, or anything else. plus my mom constantly FEEDS them and im like THEY DO NOT NEED IT. then she will wait til i leave and give it

    Comment by cnetlady (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • i understand y u grounded them. if u don't feel that it is safe enough in that neighborhood for them to walk...they should NOT walk. it is your job as a mom to protect your kids. kudos to you. sounds like you are doing your job. 3 and 5 is very young..anything could happen on that walk.

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • she can tell you why she got grounded for the first week still and that grounding is over with. I did the 1 day grounding and she justs thrfows a fit the whole day and i have to extend it and it ends up weeks. I really appreciate everyones response and advice. I really need the help badly

    Comment by cnetlady (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • my neighborhood is safe as far as the people go but the teenagers like to drive fast through here and I would hate for them to get run over

    Comment by cnetlady (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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