Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do you deal with spousal abuse and bullying if you're a SAHM?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • If you want to stay with him -- encourage him to get help. If you don't then leave. An abuser will likely NOT change though and you DO Deserve better.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 1:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I was an abused wife and was bullied!!! Can u go to a relative for help? U can call the domestic violence hotline,they will put u up in a shelter with the kids.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:07 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • You go back to school and get a job any job and you leave why put up with it?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:07 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Abusers do not change, they only become more abusive.

    You have two options, prepare to leave, or stay and be absolutely miserable- AND teach your children that this is what a normal, healthy relationship looks like so that they will repeat the cycle.

    I was once in the same position- I chose the latter of the two, one day I snapped. I couldn't let my sons grow up to become abusers. I got out.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:07 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I was and I got a job and moved out. If he won't let you get a job then call the local Domestic Violence Shelter and ask what your options are in your community
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I'd leave, even if it meant going to a women and childrens shelter. No matter how hard it was, I'd do it. I wouldn't let my child witness that.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:35 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • The same as if I was a working woman ... call the authorities and throw his ass in jail.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I was a SAHM with a baby and he came home drunk, locked me out of the house and was cleaning his shotgun at the dining room table and had three shotgun shells sitting beside it. I could see through the window. I was afraid for my sleeping son in his crib. I managed to get into the house and hide the shotgun shells but he had a loaded pistol, put it again my head, dialed the phone to our minister and told him to say goodbye to me. It was 3am. I figured I was going to die. After the minister and other came over, I planned to go to a women's shelter and then use the help they provided but before I went there, I told my parents (who had told me I could not return home ever after marrying him) that if they didn't allow me to return, I and my baby would probably be dead. So, they let me come back, I went to vocational school, got a job, went to college part-time, divorced, and eventually earned my undergrad degree (FIN AID).
    flightless

    Answer by flightless at 3:29 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • That's a very tough situation. She needs to get away from the abuse either by kicking him to the curb or moving in with family and friends. Social services for some immediate assistance with food and housing, a job, a place to live. It's not easy or fast to make all those changes but she has to start somewhere.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:33 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • That would be a tough situation to be in, but I think her best bet would be to call the police and have him arrested. If she needed a place to stay then she should ask the police to escort her to a women's shelter where she could recieve help and counseling.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:16 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN