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2 Bumps

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me our entire marriage? I MUST BE A DAMN IDIOT!

Found out today that my husband has a secret email account where he has been talking to other woman off craigslist, adult friend finder, you name it, he has an account on it. He uses a fake name, offers these woman money, talks about OUR marriage to these woman, sending nude pics to these woman, and this has been going on for a year!!! I am so sick to my stomach and cannot even believe that I was so dumb to believe that he wouldn't do any of this again (he has texted other woman before and I have found out about it, asked another woman on a dates and I have found out about it and I alway try to work out our marriage) I want to leave, but have no way. I do not have my own car, I am a SAHM with 2 children and one on the way. I have no money and live away from my family who also doesn't have the funds to get me home. I'm stuck! My husband is still in bed, hungover even after me waking him up with all of this bullshit. He just keeps trying to blame all of this on me and trying to play me as I'm dumb. What do I need to do? I'm fed up!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • sorry to hear this. but right now u should stay put and have the baby. afterwards you should try applying for assistance..foodstamps etc, try getting a job, save then move out. there is no working it out at this point, he clearly has no respect for his family. hang in there and plan an exit strategy. it won't be easy, knowing that u will have to live in the same house as him but; Rome was not built in one day. If u stay with this guy he might give u a disease. you need to move on.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 1:50 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • joint banking, take the money, get on a bus and get the hell outta there, then get to the doctor and get tested for any std's the bastard could have given you! Look into a church or community group to help out. There are resources, find them! and good luck!
    DLCarter2011

    Answer by DLCarter2011 at 1:51 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • You're not the idiot. He is. If it were me, I'd let him know that though you may be living with him, you are separated emotionally. I wouldn't give someone like that a second chance and I'd do anything and everything to get out of that situation asap. Best of luck. You don't deserve that.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:49 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • You need to take a breath. Work on setting yourself up so that you can live independently and then do it. IMO.
    Jaliceawrites

    Answer by Jaliceawrites at 1:45 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • i would use whatever funds were available to get myself and my children back home. there has to be some money somewhere, savings, checking? you're still married so that money belongs to both of you. i would wipe out everything and get the hell out, with a nice note that read have a great life douchebag.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Well the first thing you need to do is talk to a lawyer. Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you have no options. For one thing at least half of everything you have is yours....maybe more once a good lawyer gets done with him :). Although, I must admit vbruno's idea would be tempting but make sure he has life insurance first if you go that route...lol...I am joking!
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 1:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • We have absolutly no money right now. We can't even pay our rent because of his spending habbits (whole other situtation) I feel so lost.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • vbruno....you better be careful what you say - especially on the internet!!

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 1:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I would call my family, do you have a credit card, anything? What about his family, I really couldn't condone my son doing this to his family,, idk, but I am so sorry,, when does he get paid again? I would take the entire thing and leave.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:58 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • you need to get a job and put money away...I am in a similiar situation and am putting money away...I have 3 kids so can relate.Vbruno is an idiot! You do not kill if someone cheats you puton your big girl pants and take produtive measures to remove yourself...it maynot be overnight fix but you are better thanthis youndeserve better than this
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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