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11 Bumps

SM took my DD's cell phone because she kept calling me

My dd is 8 and has a cell phone ONLY for when she goes to her dad's house because she would refuse to let her use his phone to call me while she was gone for the weekend and I let her keep it in her room while at my house in case he wants to call her. Anyway, last Sat, my DD was at her dad's house but he had to go into work for a few hours. My dd texted me all day, saying she was bored, wanted to go home, she was hungry you get the idea. I texted back every time and answered every time she called. I told her she would be home soon (she only stays friday night till saturday night) but I did call the SM to ask why at 2 pm, my child hadn't been fed lunch. At that point, she told me she was taking the cell phone away I told her she is NOT permitted to steal my child's phone as I bought it and pay for the service, not her. She said " how is she supposed to be spending time with us is she is constantly texting you" I said "she is not there to spend time with you, she is there to spend time with her dad and he is not even there!" I told her I was coming to pick my child up as she couldn't be bothered to feed her (all she had for breakfast was a pop tart too). As my ex wasn't there, she couldn't stop me from picking my DD up and wasn't going to hand over the phone until I threatened to call the cops. I also called my called my ex and told him that as we have right of first refusal, he is not to leave my DD alone with anyone without asking me first and she WILL have her cell phone with her at all times when at his house. What gives her the right to think that she can take the things I give to MY child?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (55)
  • I would ask her what is really going on there and ask her why your child is telling you she is hungry?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:33 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Well, I am not in the situation...and it does seem like a hard one.

    I would think your right to have her visit her dad, he should be there. Maybe she could spend time with his parents if he has to work. I don't think it is bad to leave the child with a step parent AS LONG as they are good to the child.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 2:35 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • yep the sm is wrong. she over stepped her boundaries there. i would be livid. i too would threaten to call the cops. she has no right to play disciplinarian with you dd. she needs to back the f*ck up.

    Answer by gwen20 at 2:35 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I agree. a pop tart????? WOW.... no lunch??? what is she cindirellas SM??????? ughhhhh

    Answer by kkbird at 2:35 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Sounds to me like you made a really great choice. SM overstepped her boundaries, not cool. Good job momma!!

    Answer by Tarrar at 2:39 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • i agree that she was wrong in taking the phone. also agree with the person that said she should spend time with the grandparents while he is gone. im a sm and love my 3 stepkids, i had the same problem with my dh's oldest girl. she would call her mom everytime she didnt get her way, when she got in trouble or when she got in a argument with her half sister. we wouldnt even know ahe called till her mom showed up to get her. we talked to her mom and told her what was going on and she took care of it.

    Answer by esmith1984 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Sm was wrong to try to take the cell phone away and not feed dd, ex also should have let you know he would be gone and dd would be left with sm. Sm clearly overstepped her boundaries and I would have threatened to call the cops and pick dd up too. I think you did the right thing to tell her not to touch "your" phone (as you paid for it) and get on her for not feeding dd. You were also right to give ex a piece of your mind over the incident. I also think that ex needs to set up a 'game plan' with you ahead of time on what to do with dd if he has to get called into work again that way if it happens again or is at last minute and he can't reach you (to clear people with you) he has a plan to fall back on. Something like-- if he can't be with her then it is ok for him to take dd to her Grandma's (ex' mom) house. (or whoever you both know and you trust/approve of).

    Answer by MizLee at 2:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I told him that from now on, I am enforcing the right of first refusal and he will not leave my child alone with anyone

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Feel better Momma (after that vent)? You did the right thing. Situations like this really make me glad I don't have to deal with step-anything. I'm too much of a Momma Bear that kills first, asks questions later.



    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:32 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I agree with you for the most part but if he married this woman then she needs to be apart of her life as well, which also means spending time together. i dont agree with her not feeding your daughter and I think the sm was more mad that she got told on rather than your daughter talking to you. I'd tell your ex if the sm is to take care of her for whatever reason then she should be fed on a reasonably hour and properly! good luck !!

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 3:37 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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