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Who else has lost someone close from death & how do you deal?

I lost my Dad due to cancer 6 months ago, & I know I'm still greiving. It just seems so hard to believe that I can't see or talk to him anymore, & that it's already been 6 months since he passed. Thanksgiving just wasn't the same without him. All the holidays will be different without him. So, how do you keep focused on life & greive at the same time? Anyone know?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • {{hugs}}

    My father passed away in Sept. 2005, my mom in Jan 2007. Truthfully, the grief never goes away. There isn't a day when I don't think of them, and there never will be. And you're right...the holidays aren't the same. This first one won't be easy for you...but it will get easier next year as you think about the things you shared with your dad and what you want to share with your children.

    If your dad was in hospice care, they may have survivor counseling available for you. it can be so helpful.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:42 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • i'm so sorry to hear that..i lost my stepdad 6 years ago this month to a massive heart attack that could've been prevented..honestly you don't really ever get over the issue, it'll always be there in the back of your mind, but you just get on the best you can..think about what he would want you to do, obviously no one would want you to grieve and feel sad at a time being thankful for everything.

    Remember, you have you family that is still here with you...and if your dad was anything like my stepdad, you'll feel "him" still there with you or with your mom until he knows everything will be okay, and he knows that you're just fine...


    Message me if you wanna talk about it. Again, I'm so sorry to hear about you loss.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 12:43 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I lost 3 family members in the last 2 years, my twin brother was in a bad accident and died from bleeding, my little brother was killed by a drunk driver that drove through are house and 4 months ago i lost my sons twin during birth... i think the best way to deal with it is to talk about it with how ever u feel the closest too and the most open around... I am sorry for ur loss i know how hard it is...

    hugs and all are love
    Pooky_mommy

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 12:46 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Thanks so much for the imput & I'm very sorry about all your losses, to everyone. I have other family members, hubby, etc., to talk to about it. I guess sometimes it's the alone, lost feeling I feel sometimes, even though I'm not.(?) At the same time, it's not something that you want to talk about constantly with others, because it can be alittle depressing. Especially, as with my hubby, or someone else that hasn't lost someone close, they don't truly understand how you feel, or what you're going through, yet you have to keep living your life. Thanks for the support!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I am so sorry for your loss...we lost all 4 of our parents between Sept. '2000 and July 2005. My MIL in 09/00 and my dad 01/01 just 4 months apart. Hospice sd it takes 18 mos to recover frm the loss of a parent. Not being able to talk to your parent is hard, but they can hear you in a prayer. We're Catholic & it's taken time to "handle" our parents not being here. We feel cheated bcause 
    our parents were relatively young when they passed. We still miss them-always.The pain never goes away, but in time, you may find that the pain is not as great today, as it was a week ago. Our parents still live on is us, in our hearts & minds. I guess that's how we cope. I hope this helps you, and I will say a prayer for you that you some comfort and strength to get through the Holiday Season.
    Kayd01

    Answer by Kayd01 at 9:39 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • it;s not easy ..my ex killed himself with his 2 kids ,,not mine but my kids siblings,,,,last year,,, what i;ve done with the kids and myself, is look at pictures of the father ands the kidsand talk about it,, or we also went for help and now we been dealing with his death,, the pain is with you but eventually you go on and remember the good times,,,,,,also think that he is not suffering anymore,, yes ,you will miss him and holidays are tough,,but again think of the good times and save those precious moments in your heart, may god be with you and your family,,,
    seexxymama4u2me

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 6:01 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I lost my father to a surprise diagnosis of cancer in 06. Out of the blue 60 days from diagnosis to death. I hardly had time to absorb the reality of him being so sick & then he passed away. In my reading I have found that some deal with grief by living in a manner, continuing on a path that they know would make their loved one proud & happy. That is how I deal with it. I know my father would be proud of the decisions I have made since his death. I also consider him my son's guardian angel. I have been taught he is heaven & that is a nice thought that brings me comfort & if he is then so be it. I pray & talk to my father daily. Losing him like I did gave me a REAL lesson in the reality of things known as life surprises. I still cry over his absence in my life & that is okay. I always will. Hugs to you !!

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 12:11 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • My mother was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago and I'm ashamed to admit that my first thought when she told me was "Is this something genetic that I should worry about for myself?" Now I am so embarrassed to have thought that, and I know that we only have a few months left together. I live in another state, and am spending a lot of money on plane fare to spend as much time with her as I can before she goes. When we're together, we go out of our way to talk about the good times we remember from our past, so I hope that when she goes to Heaven, I will have pleasant memories of her. I'll be in your shoes very soon and I don't look forward to it but am preparing for it the best I can.
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 10:47 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I turn 30 today and I lose my dad when I was 15. Over the years it will get better,but It never goes away. I still have days when i wonder why did this happen to me. I look at my 3 kids and I hate that they didn't get to see there grandpa. All I can say is hang in there everyday it will get alittle better to deal with.
    sassy28

    Answer by sassy28 at 2:05 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

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