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2 Bumps

So, am I out of line?

So my DH totaled his car almost 3 weeks ago. He still hasn't received the check, it was close to 18 thou.
So, today, he said he was going to go and look at cars but wouldn't buy anything until he got his check from the insurance company. Okay fine....
So, he comes home and I ask "how did it go?" he replies "the car will be here at 6".

Okay, so he bought a new car...no check, waiting on the insurance to send it...I mean, really? 1) why couldn't you wait and 2) why didn't you consult me first?? I am beyond pissed off.

Now, before the bashing starts...I know he had to have a new car. But, he has a rental....WHY...WHY must he do these things.

He is always doing shit like this. ALWAYS! He won't consult with me about any purchase, ect... But, I bought a suit for an interview last week and I consulted him. I have talked to him about it...nothing sinks through his head. I'm a SAHM and he feels since he makes all the money he's entitled to do things because HE thinks it's the right thing to do.

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 5:41 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • No thats why I went to work and left him.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:47 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Oh my husband would be calling the dealership and telling them that his wife said no. He deserves to be put him through the embarrassment simply because that is a HUGE lack of respect to you.
    No, you being a SAHM does not mean that the money is his. Uh uh, no way. I know some people think that way but I find that said. Marriage is an equal partnership.
    I hope that you let him have it. Wow, sorry I am literally pissed off for you. ((HUGS))
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 5:58 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Please excuse my typos...I type horribly when I am upset LOL
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 5:59 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • It doesn't matter who makes the money. It should belong to both of you, and I believe he should have made you a part of the decision making process. I also believe that there should be some kind of consequences for his having not consulted with you. I don't know what that might be, but I think it should involve something that is very dear to him, and I think it should be applied until such time as he apologizes for his very insensitive behavior. I do not agree that he had to have a new car. He may have had to have a different car, but it did not have to be new. You can't just let this go. You have to find a way to get his attention, and you are probably the only person who knows what it will take. Whatever it is, use it. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and he is abusing his role as husband. So draw yourself a boundary and then set about enforcing it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • hahahaha, nah, it makes sense to me. I was trying to stay calm while typing this. I'm so pissed off.
    Chloesmom1126

    Comment by Chloesmom1126 (original poster) at 6:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • No, you are not out of line at all. I used to feel like this until I constantly starting speaking up that it annoyed me. Even though he would have made the car decision with or without your knowledge he still should have consulted with you just because..
    MsViv

    Answer by MsViv at 6:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Nope you have every right to feel pissed off. I would ask him why he didn't consult you and how would he like it if you did the samething to him? I am curious to know his answer......
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 6:12 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Mine does the same shit. It doesn't do us any good to be pissed. They think just because they make the money that they don't have to let us know anything. UUUUGGGG. MEN.
    yummysmummy

    Answer by yummysmummy at 6:35 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • GOOD LUCK with whatevr you decide to do.
    yummysmummy

    Answer by yummysmummy at 6:38 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I think you need to talk to him about what marriage actually means.

    My hubby does this all the time too.. and i get annoyed with him and they he gives me lame assed excuses as to why he didn't have time to talk to me about it or why he absolutely had to have it.
    I just tell him that if it's going to be black and white like that the he can't bnitch to me when he thinks I've spent to much on something either.
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 6:56 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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