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What are some good ways to get your child to obey you in a store??

I had a HORRIBLE day out with my DD today!! It was a nightmare! The stroller was in my husband's car so we couldn't use that in the mall. I also had NO change on me to get one of those car thingys. I didn't know that I forgot the stroller until we got there and we live a bit of ways from the mall. So was a very busy day in the mall. My DD wanted to run from me, hide in the clothes, scream and yell, and NOT listen to any commands I gave her! I finally smacked her leg hard enough that it would sting (other times didnt work) and she got sooo angry that she ran away and said "DONT HIT ME MAMA! I"M SAD!!" And every step I took toward her even if I was trying to calm her down....she ran away and screamed louder. OMG....I can't get the child to behave!!! I even bribed her and it didn't work. I held her and that worked but I had so much in my arms she just got super heavy. I finally left and that was hard enough to get her out of the mall.

What are some effective ways of getting her to behave?! She will be 3 in July by the way.

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Asked by Keeely07 at 6:48 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 17 (4,476 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Okay I didn't really take time to read the entire story because its truly not necessary. In order to get your child to listen to you when you are in a store is easy. If it is a small child then they need to be in the basket first of all and if you can't do this then you have to sit and promise them something that you know they like and really really REALLY want and everytime they are acting up in the store throw it in their face. Yes they are children but "child mail" alwyas works. It even works for me and my son is almost 16 years old and it still works on him and sometimes I don't even get what he wanted or what I promised him I just sometimes need to concentrate on doing what I have to do in the store...especially if I am making groceries if I don't im going to forget something. for me most of the time I leave mines at home but we can't all do that for we don't all have 15 year old children.

    Answer by MsTherapy77 at 6:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Sounds like your basic run of the mill 3 year old! :0) Just keep being consistent and reminding her of the rules. I like the 1-2-3 Magic approach with my DD who is also 3. It seems to work very well for us.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • MsTherapy77......there weren't any carts in the mall. Otherwise it would have been easier. And to the other suggestion I did try the bribing and throwing it in her face. She didn't care whether or not she got it. I couldnt think of anything else she would have wanted at the time.

    Comment by Keeely07 (original poster) at 6:56 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • It's not bribing so much as consequence. If you are not holding my hand by the time I get to three you will be sitting (in that chair, by that door whatever while out) for 3 min and then we will try again. Once she is back on track then you can move into positive reinforcement. It we can get through the rest of this trip without getting to 3 we will get ice cream on the way out but mommy has to do her shopping first and you need to hold my hand and listen. It takes a few days or serious commitment but it works.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I would have gone home and got the stroller or to the atm or a store for change to rent one. Hitting her obviously is not working, and you are lucky to not have had a mom like me there. I would have contacted security.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Omg are you kidding me? I smacked her leg for god's sake. Shut the hell up.

    Comment by Keeely07 (original poster) at 7:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I finally smacked her leg hard enough that it would sting - so you hurt her
    (other times didnt work) - you indicate you smacked her more than once
    I did try the bribing and throwing it in her face. - You threw it in her face huh? Thats sounds super mature. She is a toddler. She doesn't understand having things 'thrown' in her face. Read a parenting book. Try Love and Logic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • when ur in like walmart or somthing u can let her sit in the cart and play with a toy while u shop then give it to the cashier bfor u leave so then shes prolly only gonna throw a fit when u leave. my mom did it to me but idk if that will work with ur kid. maybe u culd just not bring her out and get a sitter or somthing... good luck

    Answer by Swimmer4life at 8:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • My children did this. If I was alone with them it was either listen to Mommy RIGHT NOW or we leave. Since they could walk (about a year old) we started voice training them. If they wanted to walk all by themselves then they had to listen to Mom/Dad. We also started a Red Light/Green Light thing.
    Red Light: STOP!
    Green Light: RUN!
    Yellow Light: WALK, and stay close to me
    Purple Light: Stop and come back
    Blue Light (rarely used): LOOK OUT!! Daddy's coming to tickle you.

    They are now 7 and 4 and the light system still works. We also drop everything and leave a store if one of them can't behave. My son, 7, we only had to toss over a should and go straight home a few times before he learned. My daughter, 4, still challenges the Way Things Are and gets taken out to the car about once a month. She HATES being isolated from the rest of us so this works well.

    It's never ending. PM me if you would like more advice, I'm out of room.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:34 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I take my 2 in a half year old out to the car for "time out". Sounds overused I know. I ignore her calmly like she isnt frustrating me one 1 bit. Every couple minutes i ask "are you gonna be a good girl?" if she says no then I turn around and carry on. After doing this for awhile now Breelyn will scream for maybe five minutes then she wil calm down and say "good girl" lol I make her say sorry and give me a hug and a kiss. For stores I like to bring her shopping cart she has to push around. I havnt had my kid in a stroller since she could walk cuz Breelyn is to active to sit still and be bored in a stroller mainly. Dont show them that they are getting to you just makes the fits last longer and makes them worse I think. Give your kid something to carry like they are helping for distraction. Im a military spouse whose hubby is gone a lot so i do this by myself nor have i ever had a babysitter so i have had to find tricks.

    Answer by breezybaby19 at 12:43 AM on May. 1, 2011

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