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2 Bumps

Would I be a bad mom if.....

After having a baby... do any moms here still have a fun night? or do you just give it up.

I'm not saying that when I have my kids Im going out and getting trashed every night, and doing drugs... NO WAY. I quit smoking/drinking when I found out I was preggo, and I intend to not go back smoking....But I have friends who love to drink. and I love drinking once in a blue moon.. and would like to have a girl night after.....
Of course since Im breast feeding I'll have to wait more, but I rather do that for my child then go out drinking early. I am a respectable drunk lol I dont drink and drive, and I

Anyways how long should you wait?

Would it make me a bad mom to go out once a month to have a me time after the baby is born... (he/she will be 8 months to a year before making going out plans)

I dont want to be a bad mom :( but I dont want to lose that fun, I once had. So making sacrifices I'm willing to do. I'm just asking if anyone ever been in my situation.

Answer Question
 
Gina2506

Asked by Gina2506 at 7:40 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (79 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I never get me time, and I miss it. I love my son more than anything in the world, but I wish I was able to go out to a movie or whatever once a month. It's just not in the cards for me. If you have the opportunity, take it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • i dont drink, but i do smoke pot a little, and i sure loove to go dancing. I took my baby to parties with me since he was a month old. just protect his ears from too loud music. I find someone to hold him a while, or i just dance with him. he is 7 month old. he loves seeing people and going to parties havent been a problem at all, we enjoy it. you are not a bad momma at all, everyones needs to have fun, children or not !
    kokomaman

    Answer by kokomaman at 7:46 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Umm. what you said is fine, what kokomaman said is not...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I personally miss my daughter when I am not with her still and she is 6 yrs LOL
    I think if you CAN take a night off and the baby is with Daddy, Grandma etc then you should. Being a mom is STRESSFUL. A night to recoup once in a while is a good thing.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:50 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • What Kokomaman said is wrong. Seriously, a party is NOT an evironment for a child to be at, at all. And no mother is respectable and smokes pot, not a single one of them. Or any drug for that matter.

    Even if you go out every two weeks it is fine. Even if you get a little tipsy it's fine. Just as long as you're not taking care of your child drunk or tipsy. Just as long as you're not driving under the influence. If you have an overnight babysitter (like Grandma, a best friend, or another relative you trust) that can take them if you do decide to have a few then go ahead and party hard.

    Being a mother does not in any manner mean you have to give up that fun. Being suzy homemaker only means making a home, not becoming a Housewife drone who loses her entire personality. Just as long as the child is safe and you're responsible about your partying.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Wow... I'm trying to figure out if kokomaman is being serious... That sounds absolutely ridiculous to me, and so many things are wrong with that response.

    In your situation, your life doesn't end when you have children. They should be your first priority, but you still have to take care of yourself once in awhile. You'll be a better mom for doing that. So go ahead and take your time here and there, have your time. It's good for your kids to get a break and be with other people too :)
    EverydayMomma

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 8:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I might get out without the kids once or twice a YEAR. I would probably not want it to be a monthly thing, at least not until my kids were way older and ASKING to go out to grandma's or auntie's or with friends. There will be plenty of that eventually.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • it is totally fine to have a night out every now and again, it wouldn't make you a bad mom. everyone needs some fun, otherwise you will get abit fed up being at home all the time. i have time out once and awhile with my girlfriend.
    otoole

    Answer by otoole at 8:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • umm, at least I dont post anonymous...... I just tell what i think and its not a problem for my baby to go to parties (of course maybe we dont have the same vision of a party, I always go to nice, open parties with open space, and a lot of babies and children are there too)
    i am able to dance when daddy holds the baby, or a friend, and i enjoy music and dancing with my son. he is very sociable and never complains when we go out. Having children is not the end of the world, not the end of our lives, i think some people must learn to enjoy themselves and their kids, and stop stressing out too much. Im a good mom, whatever you think, I am responsible, my baby is healthy and thriving, i love him more than anything,and I enjoy my life with him.
    kokomaman

    Answer by kokomaman at 8:04 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • The best thing you can do for your baby is to take care of yourself and that includes finding time to just unwind. Going out with your friends or SO on occasion for adult time is fine. Make sure that if you are breastfeeding you do not drink too much, but a relaxing glass of wine or a beer won't hurt anything.
    To the mom who smokes weed... if you are BF the THC can be passed on to your baby and since THC is stored in fat, even if you didn't just smoke the THC can still be seeping into your breast milk. You can lose your child if it test positive for weed. Do you really want to risk this? I'm not even going to go into the other aspects of why you shouldn't get high with a baby because undoubtedly you already feel those things don't matter.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 8:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

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