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2 Bumps

Need comments/ advice

Please read my journal posted today at 8:20 pm est.


Asked by kjrn79 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (14,066 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • WOW!!! I too have a 20 year old son with a gf, so I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. First of all the mom needs to seek help for depression, the gf needs to get her ass out of bed and be more pro-active and not dependent on others to do all the work. My biggest concern for you is if you allow her or any of the family to stay with you it's hell getting them to leave. They've only been dating 2 months, and believe me I know what your son is thinking, protecting his gf! But you have to protect yourself, aging parents and home. Is gf moving in with you, if so she needs to get a job and go to school. Get a list of phone #'s to shelters, Salvation Army etc for her mom to call for help and remove yourself from the picture. Good Luck, my heart aches for this family and you.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 8:40 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Sorry to hear. I can imagine the heartache you felt when you saw the situation 1st hand. One thought I had was to seek churches for some possible temporary help for this family. Something I had heard and always remembered was that " I am powerless over anyone but myself". As much as we want to save the world, we have to be aware that some good intentions brings big problems and suffering to us. This mother needs help. That is the core problem here. What a great thing that her daughter has your sons' support. :-). If you want to help, maybe you could help gather possible home rental information and help gather a deposit for them. With all of those people invloved, hopefully they could afford a reasonable rental. Stay logical and keep your distance from this. You have a good heart. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 9:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by sherribeare at 11:35 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • wow

    Answer by alliep2011 at 5:20 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • How old is the gf and her twin? How old are the other kids in that were in the house? I am assuming she's over 18 and out of high school. I guess I would allow the gf to stay at my house temporarily while encouraging her to look for a job. Once she got settled with work, I would help her find a room for rent somewhere. It doesn't sound like her mother is going to be any help at all. Does she have a substance abuse problem?

    Answer by Syphon at 3:25 PM on May. 22, 2011