Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is anyone else's husband an absolute dumbass?

Im seriously afraid for our finances, futures, children, and relationship because of it. We married young, so i thought he would grow as time went on, but he absolutely did not. Now we get in constant arguments because he overlooked major issues in life, and i am desperately trying to get him to realize that he needs to grow the hell up.

for instance: He 'forgot' to pay his car payment for 4 months, and ended up getting it repossessed. He was also late on pretty much every single bill which further hurt his credit. I'm a SAHM, and he constantly wants to remind me that 'he makes the money', so shouldn't HE take care of the money?
I've since handled all bank transactions to avoid another mistake, and im going back to school to make another living to be able to support the family. Something i feel is inevitable for our future.

sorry.. big rant.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • My husband is a positive genius but I would NEVER let him handle our bills! He is so clueless when it comes to finances lol!
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 1:24 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • He proved that he can't take care of the money. Good for you for taking action.

    Unfiortunately, every husband is SOME flavor of "dumbass" at one time or another. The good ones show it less frequently and in ways that don't hurt the family. (My husband's particular dumbassery is pushing himself physically too hard so that his bad back hurts too much and he can't go to work.)
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:26 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • It would be fine if it were just finances, but thats just the situation i have on my mind now. I just feel like if im not aware of EVERY little thing going on in the household to make sure its running well, it will all fall to pieces - such as the repossession.

    I dont like to micromanage my house, but im forced to, and i hate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Well really my SO handles all the bills and works while I stay at home with our son........sometimes I remind him to pay his truck payment BUT even if it is late he still pays it and well him getting his vehicle repo'd would be cool considering he is a Repoman shoot he would prolly get the order to repo his own damn truck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • sorry I postde above and I ment to say it wouldn't be cool
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • My husband could not handle the bills period. He has no concept of money. he sees the balance on the atm and thinks that is how much is there. He had to take over the bills ONE month while i was in the hospital, ONE MONTH and he messed it up lol. I even went as far as to write out a list of exactly what bills to pay and the date they were due and he still *forgot* to pay one or two bills LOL! i can laugh about it now since its been a few years but I was LIT!

    Just take over the bills, pay them and be done with it.

    Oh and dont be surprised if at some point in time you have to take away the ATM, had to do that more than once. Even while deployed, he cant manage his little account, month after month I had to add a little extra so he wouldnt bounce his account....MEN
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Well, I can't say anything that relates to your situation but mine can be pretty damn stupid sometimes. He tried to tell me the other day that it was raining even though there was not a cloud in the sky. He admitted it was a perfectly clear day but said it was still raining because they saw drops of water falling from the sky on the windshield of his work truck. I tried to explain that that was physically impossible and maybe it was someone's windshield washer but he would not believe that it could have been anything other than rain. WTF? I try to let stupidity go but I couldn't handle him being that dumb. I argued for a few minutes about it but it was a lost cause :-(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Yes, my husband is a dumbass. He's handsome, charming, sexy, he cooks, has a succseful business and makes good money. But he is still a dumbass. My point is that even though he's great in a lot of ways I think that alomost all men lack a certain amount of common sense. I think any woman in the world could tell you something completely stupid that her husband does regularly. It does suck that you have to pick up where he is a "dumbass" but that's what us women are for, I think......to even things out and make sure the important details are taken care of.
    Raegy

    Answer by Raegy at 1:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Wow... how did you not know it was going to get repo'ed? I used to work collections - we call everyone and their mother trying to get a bill paid that is 90+ days past due. Usually your NEIGHBOR has an idea something is up! :) As for your question, yea, I think everyone - husbands and wives - can have their moments. Sorry you're having a rough day/night/week... but the realistic approach is to accept he may not change and take steps to make yourself happier. You can only control *you* -- and expecting him to "grow up" was your first mistake. I think you did the right thing by taking over the finances and I agree it's probably wise to have a plan in place where you could support yourself and family.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 2:29 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • My fiance works and is a very smart man but i handle the bills frankly he wouldnt know what to do with a checkbook and i'd be afriad to give him one.
    justinsmommie09

    Answer by justinsmommie09 at 3:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.