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Why is it that when people find out I am 20 and have 2 kids they assume I am incompetent to raise them?

This happens when I meet someone new or I'm in the store and run into someone. They always give me this dirty look like they know more than me beacuse they are older. What happened to live and let live? Just beause I am young does not mean I am uncapable to raise them. It drives me nuts!


Asked by Briggs_mommy at 1:50 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • Most likely it is because of assumptions about young motherhood, that you are on welfare, that you can't really provide for them, that their taxes are going to you so you can have sex and spit out babies.... I'm sure you know the drill. These people are judgemental and not very well informed. So enjoy your children and raise them to be strong, smart, and understanding. Years from now you will look back and wonder where did all that time go. You will remember those sweet days, the things they did to drive you nuts, funny momments....but the looks will not be the top thing on your mind. So when you get a look or comment just smile and look at your child and know that your brought an amazing child into the world and that is all that matters.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:18 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I don't understand these questions. This has been asked numerous times and it's the same response. I think you are over exagerating, and possibly looking for attention of some sort. There alot of people out there who have children by your age and alot of people who do not look their age. You are not the first, nor will you be the last Hon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • some people cant look past the age thing. shit I have a friend who is 30 and shouldnt have ANY kids. I dont judge by peoples age at all. but sadly most people do. you have to just let all those comments roll off your back.
    anonymous- STFU. your the type of person im talking about. idiot. everyones an attention seeker? just shut up

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • People are just stupid. I was married at 19, had our first at 21 and had 3 more by the time i was 23 (twins included). I still get that look alot now. Just ignore them and be the best mom you can

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • i am 20 i have twins but the twist is i look 14..i even got pulled over since the cop thought i was 14. I just egnore are doing the best you can!!! that is all that matters.

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 2:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I am 20 and about to have my second kid, i get the same thing all the time too. Only from people that don't know me though so I just ignore it.

    Answer by BabyGsMaMa13 at 2:15 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • They are probably projecting their own stuff on you. Looking back on how they were at that age, and how they think they couldn't handle immature they were. Don't take ownership of their issues...

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 5:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Because they are ignorant and judgmental don't let them bother you just do the best you can for your babies and you will know that you are able to be a great mom no matter what your age. There are plenty of older moms who have no business raising children and plenty of younger moms who are great parents!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • People are unfortunately judgemental because they hear of girls dropping out of school to have babies and assume they're going to be welfare leaches for forever. Many people neglect to realize that a lot of young mothers AREN'T doing this. A lot of young mothers are not capable- likewise, many "older" mothers (25-45) aren't capable. Try not to let it get to you- it's hurtful, but someday when your kids turn out well and theirs may end up in juvenile detention, they may realize you did something right.

    Answer by Kat770 at 9:27 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Girl..I feel ya..I had my daughter at 19 and looked about 15 and i aways said that i found out at an early age what it feels like to be judged based upon your looks..It is usually the old school ppl who are judgement anyways and think that you are "yet another" single mom on welfare..Just do you !! The best thing that i ever did was to be a young and single parent, it made me such a strong woman today!

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 10:34 AM on Dec. 4, 2008