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My son is very uncontrolable and he is currently undergoing treatment, however, I partially do not want him to come home because of all the issues that arise when he is home. I need help trying to control him and I cannot find someone to help with that. Does anyone have any feed back for me?

Me and Mickey have been down a long winding road. He pretty much in his own way scare me and his 2 sisters. I feel as though i am a bad mom because of how he does us. I put him in the CALM center to see about meds 6 days ago, and they put him on respirdol and is sending him home to me tomorrow. I am so sorry and this is one reason i am a bad mom, but my 2 girls have said that they don't want Mickey to come back to our house. It really hurts me to put this out there like that, but i don't blame them. 9 months ago, he ran away and when found was taken to the youth shelter. For 13 days, i ran myself into the ground to find him a place to go to help him. If he wasn't in state custody, then more or less, i was on my own unless i had $ to put him in a facility myself. what a joke! i even told DHS that i was on the verge of beating the crap out of my kid and would gladly take charges (almost true as it was, i was quite serious). i love my baby boy, but he makes me hate myself and him and life itself. he is very manipulative and compulsive liar, but he gets his counselors to make sure i am lying and he is so not the Mickey i know during his sessions, and have expressed that very strongly to them. but, after talking with him or what have you, its always...he said he didn't do anything like that or say that or whatever the case may be, and ask how can a kid like him do_____________? all you mom's out there, please, i am actually begging you cause, i have no one to turn to or even confide in............if there is any place, any where, or anything you suggest that can help me with him before i go off the deep end. he tells me he if i do this to him or even smack his mouth when he calls me a "b*tch" that he will make sure that i lose my girls. please, please help me. call me even  580-304-2997 i am open to anything

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MommaFossil

Asked by MommaFossil at 10:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 10 (437 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • im sorry your going through this, i have a niece who has a lot of behavior issues. she has been in foster care for a few years now and is in and out of mental health programs it is very hard to welcome back a child you know is going to cause problems with your other kids as well as the entire family, im sure you love your son very much as we love our niece but sometimes it may be better for them to be in a safe protected place. have you tried local departments for help? good luck and dont be afraid to ask for help.
    youlookin4me

    Answer by youlookin4me at 10:29 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • well hopefully he wont be released til there is a solid home plan in place.

    look into respite services as well

    and work with him and his caseworkers/drs in a team meeting setting up clear house rules and the consequences for breaking them. consider a behavior contract too. and a schedule/daily routine
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:30 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • has he always been like this??
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 10:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • I know this may sound harsh but have you thought about Military school? My SO was a handful and then some for his mom and sending him to military school was the best decision for him and for her. It straightened him out and got him on the right track.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 11:50 PM on Apr. 30, 2011

  • Have you discussed this with his therapist? Are you girls having therapy to help them understand their brother?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:00 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • the girs knows all what their brother is going thru and what he has been thru. Mickey has issues that he will not talk about to anyone. but when i was his age, i was the same way as he. i got custody of Mickey and Destynee in May 2008. Alot of things happened in his dad's and he is in prison. It had an impact on him, but that don't affect him about where his dad is because of the abuse he was doing to him. Mickey has 5 or 6 diagnosis, and last year and a half me and him had alot of problems and he ended up at Meadowlake Behavior Hospital in Enid, Ok. He was there for 3 months, put on medications, and seemed to be doing fairly well. I don't expect alot from my kids, just a few chores, homework done, and being good. Mickey refuses to do anything, talks to me like a pile of poop. He uses his diagnosis as his way to get out of EVERYTHING and threatens me with it. Its pure hell. i love him to death and been trying to get him help
    MommaFossil

    Comment by MommaFossil (original poster) at 10:28 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Frist don"t blame your self cause its not your fault ... you can send him to a all boys home , pray but don"t allow him to scare you or your girls rember in the long run you are doing whats best for your son ask him what he waunts try to convice him that he heading down a bad road & keep telling him you love him.... ask him what his problem is does he waunt to live some-where else... my nephew was out of contorl so he had to be sent to a all boys home ,juvial sounds like your son needs to be scared straight... if you need a friend to talk too then iam here e-mail me at Barbiedeeharris@yahoo.com! hope my advice helps you .as a mom my self i under-stand...
    sassy21176

    Answer by sassy21176 at 10:56 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Awwwe momma first let me give you a big hug!!!!hugging I understand some of what you are going through. My son, Jeremiah, is 11 yrs old. He has many issues that we have been dealing with since he was about 18 mos old. His official diagnosis are Bipolar disorder, ADHD, ODD, Aspergers, and SPD. he is on many different medications and is still very violent.  In Dec 2010, we had the worst time with him. From Dec 7-10th we had the cops at my house every day for many hours dealing with my son. They kept insisting there was nothing they could do, he had just been in and out of the mental hospital the prior month and was on formal probation, but yet nothign could be done. 




     

    2and2onway

    Answer by 2and2onway at 2:56 PM on May. 3, 2011

  •  On December 10, 2010 i told the police my son could not stay in my house any longer. His probation officer placed him in Juvie and he was court ordered to remain there until a better placement came up for him. My son is now in a place called Crossroads..http://www.crossroad-fwch.org/ this is the website. He is doing better there and they are helping him with his issues. I am hopeful he will be home by next year and hopefully a different kid also. You can read more about my son and my struggles with him in these links. I hope some of this helps and I am giving you some links on where to find help also.


     

    2and2onway

    Answer by 2and2onway at 2:58 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • 2and2onway

    Answer by 2and2onway at 2:59 PM on May. 3, 2011

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