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Who is right ?

My friend ( and her 2 sons) is coming to stay with me until who knows when because she got into a huge fight with her fiance ( and apparantly the relationship is over) ....

Her fiances grandma has cancer and they want the family to come in tomorrow because they know she wont make it past then ( if she makes it until then) ... My friend wont take her sons to see her because she doesnt want them to see her like that ( without her hair and frail) ... and so now her fiance has said " he is going to go stay with his parents since she wont let him have a say in his boys life" and his family are all mad at her and basically "disowning her" if she doesnt take them for the grandma to say goodbye .

I hate to say it but I am on her fiances side and I dont know how to tell her that I think she is wrong...not only that but by doing this and ruining the relationship with him she is basically doing more harm than good ( she will technically be homeless, going to live between here and her moms, she has no job, no work experiance, no money, nothing) ...... but the grandma wants to see the boys, she loves them and asked to see them... and yes it might be scary but the boys are so young I dont think they will remember or be scared since they have already seen her not to long ago ( I mean maybe if people are upset around them, the older one might notice something, but from knowing him, I doubt he would ) .... her youngest just turned 1 and the oldest is 3....

What do you think, and if you agree with me, how would you say this to her ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would take them...

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 12:17 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Would she feel differently if it were HER relative? Maybe put that spin on it?

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 12:18 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • they arnt that old they more likely will not remember i dont think she should thro her family away like that if thats what makes her soon to be husband happy maybe she should let there grandmother see the boys just make shere people dont cry around them they wont understand the dad has a say so they are his kids to its up to her but i would let her see the boys its ither that or she losses her man i would say friend im sory but maybe he is right i mean maybe you should let the grandmother see the boys they are young they wont rember thats just how i feel about it

    Answer by jack90 at 12:23 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Maybe, just tell her that you will back her with whatever she decides but, you really think she should take the kids to see Grandma b/c she is asking for them- you could offer to go with her so, they have you there to if they get scared- i think it is important all the way around for them to see her one last time.....


    Answer by daisyb at 12:26 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • i would talk to her and make sure you dont point a finger at her and just come to her as her friend and ask her are you sure your not gonna regret this you cant take it back once shes gone and point out how young they are they wont even know but it will make everyone else happy and let a woman die peacefully

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 12:41 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • She should honor the dying womans request and leave it alone.

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 1:52 AM on May. 1, 2011

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